Now she's becoming a proper Brit with accent, idioms and everything. Not such a bad thing I guess... Just not what I ever thought I would be dealing with. Never in a million years did I think I would move out of the country. And here I am. Here we are.
Showing posts with label Vivian. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Vivian. Show all posts
23 October 2013
Have a Go
Vivian just said, "I want to have a go." She is picking up so much in nursery. Some is hilarious and some is annoying. I never really thought I would be sad that she isn't picking up "my" culture. To be honest I never thought we even had our own culture till we went somewhere different.
16 October 2013
Now I'm 34
Last Tuesday I turned 34. I spent most of the day feeling sorry for myself because I had to make my own cupcakes and clean the house to get ready for the babysitter so that I could go out to dinner to celebrate my birthday. I was actually really mad for quite a while.
Then a neighbor and friend stopped by with a card to say happy birthday. I told her I was making my own cupcakes and she said that he remembered doing that with her kids. Her daughter decorated her cake and dumped the entire box of silver balls on her cake and it was such a mess. She laughed about the fond memory. Then I talked to my mom. I told her that I would probably be disappointed at dinner because it was my birthday and special occasions often end up being terrible because you expect to have an amazing night out of the house but you end up just fighting because your expectations aren't being met. She told me to just pretend it was any other night so that my expectations weren't too high. Yeah right, Mom.... like that would actually work.
But it did.
I picked up Vivian from nursery and we went to the market to buy decorations for my cupcakes. She picked out pink squeezy tube decorating frosting and blue and green mini M&M type things. She helped me crack the eggs for the cupcakes and stir in the chocolate for the frosting. She licked the beaters. She helped me decorate the cupcakes that ended up being too dense because we over-stirred them... above all, she had a GREAT time.
The thing is, I keep mourning the loss of the life that I used to have... still. Moms of young children don't usually get woken up with breakfast in bed and presents that have been wrapped with ribbons and surprise days at the spa. (Who am I kidding?... no one has birthdays like this...do they?) Moms of young children make their own cupcakes with their children, even though it is incredibly messy and a bit annoying, because baking is super fun for kids. They spend the evening getting the kids in bed so that a babysitter can come and sit on the couch while they go out to dinner.
And, do you know what? I had a FANTASTIC time at dinner with Mark. Why? I decided it was more important to get over myself than to prove a pointless point.
I have a wonderful life. I have two incredible girls who are healthy and happy and smiley and fun. I have an incredible husband who provides for us so well that I can stay home and enjoy those wonderful girls. I have an incredible husband who also comes home every night to help with baths and bed time. He reads a chapter in the Magic Tree House books to Vivian before bed every night and makes her squeal with laughter. He says good night prayers and then sings to her before kissing her goodnight. He places us so high on his list of priorities that he will leave work in a heartbeat to get home if we really need him.
Why would I ruin an awesome opportunity to be out having a great time at an amazing (Michelin Star Rated) restaurant with my favorite person in the world by complaining about how much it sucks that I have to make my own cupcakes?
Luckily I didn't... but I almost did.
Then a neighbor and friend stopped by with a card to say happy birthday. I told her I was making my own cupcakes and she said that he remembered doing that with her kids. Her daughter decorated her cake and dumped the entire box of silver balls on her cake and it was such a mess. She laughed about the fond memory. Then I talked to my mom. I told her that I would probably be disappointed at dinner because it was my birthday and special occasions often end up being terrible because you expect to have an amazing night out of the house but you end up just fighting because your expectations aren't being met. She told me to just pretend it was any other night so that my expectations weren't too high. Yeah right, Mom.... like that would actually work.
But it did.
I picked up Vivian from nursery and we went to the market to buy decorations for my cupcakes. She picked out pink squeezy tube decorating frosting and blue and green mini M&M type things. She helped me crack the eggs for the cupcakes and stir in the chocolate for the frosting. She licked the beaters. She helped me decorate the cupcakes that ended up being too dense because we over-stirred them... above all, she had a GREAT time.
The thing is, I keep mourning the loss of the life that I used to have... still. Moms of young children don't usually get woken up with breakfast in bed and presents that have been wrapped with ribbons and surprise days at the spa. (Who am I kidding?... no one has birthdays like this...do they?) Moms of young children make their own cupcakes with their children, even though it is incredibly messy and a bit annoying, because baking is super fun for kids. They spend the evening getting the kids in bed so that a babysitter can come and sit on the couch while they go out to dinner.
And, do you know what? I had a FANTASTIC time at dinner with Mark. Why? I decided it was more important to get over myself than to prove a pointless point.
I have a wonderful life. I have two incredible girls who are healthy and happy and smiley and fun. I have an incredible husband who provides for us so well that I can stay home and enjoy those wonderful girls. I have an incredible husband who also comes home every night to help with baths and bed time. He reads a chapter in the Magic Tree House books to Vivian before bed every night and makes her squeal with laughter. He says good night prayers and then sings to her before kissing her goodnight. He places us so high on his list of priorities that he will leave work in a heartbeat to get home if we really need him.
Why would I ruin an awesome opportunity to be out having a great time at an amazing (Michelin Star Rated) restaurant with my favorite person in the world by complaining about how much it sucks that I have to make my own cupcakes?
Luckily I didn't... but I almost did.
05 October 2013
Sharing a Room
I am bursting with pride right now, and I think it's a bit of an overreaction.
Yesterday we bought a single bed (really nice bed, really good deal) for Vivian so that we can turn the cot bed (toddler bed) back into a cot (crib) for Violet. We have always intended for them to share a room but I've just been a bit nervous about it. With Vivian I was always so freaked out about her sleep that I wouldn't even enter the room during her nap for fear of waking her up. I never did anything that interfered with her nap schedule and would spend hours online reading about what I should do when something would go awry. She was a generally good sleeper too. I'm pretty sure that my neuroses is the only thing that kept her from sleeping perfectly at all times.
Violet is not so lucky (or is she?). Her schedule has to fit around our life because I don't have the luxury of not going to pick up Viv from nursery if Violet is asleep. She spends a large portion of her life in my Ergo Baby Carrier being toted from home to wherever it is we need to go. And, you know what? She is just as good a sleeper, or maybe even better, than Vivian was... go figure.
So, I was a bit apprehensive about putting them in the same room. To be honest, I wasn't even going to attempt it for a couple of months. But... we got this new bed yesterday and needed to leave the crib in there and figured we might as well try it all at once. The pack n' play is still set up in our room so that we can bring her back in if we need to, but I am optimistic. Last night Violet slept from 7 pm to 5 am without waking up. We, of course, didn't get to sleep through. Vivian wet the bed at 1 so we were up changing sheets, bathing her and begging her to cry a little bit more quietly so that Violet didn't wake up. She didn't cry more quietly and Violet still didn't wake up. Miracle!
Now we just need to get Violet to sleep through the night and Vivian to stay dry during the night. If and when that happens I am seriously going to feel like a million bucks. There just might be a light at the end of this crazy tunnel.
Yesterday we bought a single bed (really nice bed, really good deal) for Vivian so that we can turn the cot bed (toddler bed) back into a cot (crib) for Violet. We have always intended for them to share a room but I've just been a bit nervous about it. With Vivian I was always so freaked out about her sleep that I wouldn't even enter the room during her nap for fear of waking her up. I never did anything that interfered with her nap schedule and would spend hours online reading about what I should do when something would go awry. She was a generally good sleeper too. I'm pretty sure that my neuroses is the only thing that kept her from sleeping perfectly at all times.
Violet is not so lucky (or is she?). Her schedule has to fit around our life because I don't have the luxury of not going to pick up Viv from nursery if Violet is asleep. She spends a large portion of her life in my Ergo Baby Carrier being toted from home to wherever it is we need to go. And, you know what? She is just as good a sleeper, or maybe even better, than Vivian was... go figure.
So, I was a bit apprehensive about putting them in the same room. To be honest, I wasn't even going to attempt it for a couple of months. But... we got this new bed yesterday and needed to leave the crib in there and figured we might as well try it all at once. The pack n' play is still set up in our room so that we can bring her back in if we need to, but I am optimistic. Last night Violet slept from 7 pm to 5 am without waking up. We, of course, didn't get to sleep through. Vivian wet the bed at 1 so we were up changing sheets, bathing her and begging her to cry a little bit more quietly so that Violet didn't wake up. She didn't cry more quietly and Violet still didn't wake up. Miracle!
Now we just need to get Violet to sleep through the night and Vivian to stay dry during the night. If and when that happens I am seriously going to feel like a million bucks. There just might be a light at the end of this crazy tunnel.
02 October 2013
PSFA
I went to my first PTA meeting last night at Vivian's nursery. Instead of PTA, though it is the Parents, Staff and Friends Association. Since it is just a nursery for one year of the students life, it has very few people who actually attend. Last night I went expecting to see about 30 parents and instead there were 7. I ended up signing up to be a class rep. That means that I stand near the entrance during drop off and pick up to talk to people and get them to do things to help raise money. It's a perfect job for me because it means that I have to get to know all of the parents (or nannies) of all of the students in Vivian's class. I already met the mom and dad of one of the girls. They just moved here from Japan and don't know anyone. They're super sweet and cute and stylish and need friends. I can relate to the needing friends bit. It's kind of fun that I'm the veteran in this situation. I hope that I can provide her with the same type of welcome feeling that several people have provide for me since I've lived here.
Getting involved in a PTA makes me kind of excited about this next chapter in our lives. School ties you down, and we don't really like being tied down, but it will be nice to have activities and meet new people. All of this brings me to another complaint (I know I have been complaining a lot lately... I'm sorry. I will try to get back to my positive self soon...): Getting more involved in the community and the school and meeting more people and making more friends will just make it harder to leave. I feel like I have a choice. I could either put my head in the sand and refuse to make new friends or learn new things because we'll leave someday, or I could embrace the fact that this is my home and try to do my best to live a full life.
I am so happy that we moved here. There is so much about this experience that has taught me about how to live well... but I hate being in limbo, and essentially, that is what this whole time is.
It's late... I need to get some sleep.
I hope this blog isn't super boring because I talk about the same thing all the time. I definitely get on kicks (you should be glad that I haven't written down every thought that has passed through my head about whether I want to have more children. I am like a ping pong ball... mostly pongy right now).
If you ever have requests about certain aspects of life, feel free to ask.
Seriously, I need to go to bed. Good night.
Getting involved in a PTA makes me kind of excited about this next chapter in our lives. School ties you down, and we don't really like being tied down, but it will be nice to have activities and meet new people. All of this brings me to another complaint (I know I have been complaining a lot lately... I'm sorry. I will try to get back to my positive self soon...): Getting more involved in the community and the school and meeting more people and making more friends will just make it harder to leave. I feel like I have a choice. I could either put my head in the sand and refuse to make new friends or learn new things because we'll leave someday, or I could embrace the fact that this is my home and try to do my best to live a full life.
I am so happy that we moved here. There is so much about this experience that has taught me about how to live well... but I hate being in limbo, and essentially, that is what this whole time is.
It's late... I need to get some sleep.
I hope this blog isn't super boring because I talk about the same thing all the time. I definitely get on kicks (you should be glad that I haven't written down every thought that has passed through my head about whether I want to have more children. I am like a ping pong ball... mostly pongy right now).
If you ever have requests about certain aspects of life, feel free to ask.
Seriously, I need to go to bed. Good night.
Sleep Makes All the Difference
Last week I almost lost it. Mark stayed home Friday and let me get some sleep and a tiny bit of down time. Throughout the weekend I slowly but surely started feeling better and more able to deal with life. I was proactive about talking with other mums and I don't feel so crazy anymore. Everyone melts down, usually from sheer exhaustion. Everything just seems so much less hopeful when you haven't slept.
Now I am sitting here rocking my sleeping baby while my lovely little preschooler sleeps peacefully in the other room and all seems right with the world. We had a rough evening on our own because Mark had a work function, but I was able to approach it from a stable place because I am only really tired instead of exhausted, or "knackered."
It is funny because going through this has made me really appreciate the community that I have here. The more you work through hard times in your life with people, the more you bond with them. On one hand it is really nice to bond and feel more supported. On the other hand, it makes me nervous because I know it will be harder to leave after going through this here with these friends. I know this is short-sighted, but that is the kind of thing that makes me wish we never would have come. I don't like missing people. I don't like being away from my family in California. I don't like being away from my friends from California or Chicago. I don't like that I can't just drive down to see Emily and ET on a weekend if I want to. ... And now I will have more friends to miss. I guess the only constant is change. Even if we had stayed put it wouldn't have all been perfect. Friends would have moved away from us or something.
Oh well, time to quit analyzing and just let myself be happy when I can and allow myself to admit that being a mom really does suck sometimes... But then it gets good again. :)
19 September 2013
Emergency Contact
Vivian started nursery today. It was a bit anti-climatic for me because they ask that the parents stay with the child on-site until the child is fully adjusted. So, there was no teary goodbye... no goodbye at all. We did take a BOATLOAD of photos though, so that's good.
She had a great time playing with this huge water table that they have. When we first arrived there were toy fish in the water. Then we went upstairs for a new parents meeting and when we came back down the water was full of anatomically correct baby dolls of both genders. Interesting. I'm not sure what message they're sending about swimming, but I'm sure I'll be answering questions about it.
As I was filling out paperwork it asked me to list two emergency contacts in case Mark or I become unavailable and Vivian needs to be picked up. I was stumped. I have no idea who to put down. It's weird that it hit me so hard.
Well, it's 10:15 p.m. and I just finished cleaning the kitchen, folding the laundry and starting the last load in the dryer (it's SOOO nice to have a dryer). I'm WIPED OUT! This two kid thing is pretty exhausting. Today Viv took a nap and I was sure that I would have about 30 minutes in nap overlap to do something really efficiently or maybe sit down for a minute, but nope! Violet woke up as Vivian was finishing up lunch... bummer! No rest for me today. Mark is out at a work dinner so I've been completely on my own for dinner, bath and bed tonight. Not my favorite, but we got through it.
I'm just dawdling now. I need to sleep while I can. Goodnight.
She had a great time playing with this huge water table that they have. When we first arrived there were toy fish in the water. Then we went upstairs for a new parents meeting and when we came back down the water was full of anatomically correct baby dolls of both genders. Interesting. I'm not sure what message they're sending about swimming, but I'm sure I'll be answering questions about it.
As I was filling out paperwork it asked me to list two emergency contacts in case Mark or I become unavailable and Vivian needs to be picked up. I was stumped. I have no idea who to put down. It's weird that it hit me so hard.
Well, it's 10:15 p.m. and I just finished cleaning the kitchen, folding the laundry and starting the last load in the dryer (it's SOOO nice to have a dryer). I'm WIPED OUT! This two kid thing is pretty exhausting. Today Viv took a nap and I was sure that I would have about 30 minutes in nap overlap to do something really efficiently or maybe sit down for a minute, but nope! Violet woke up as Vivian was finishing up lunch... bummer! No rest for me today. Mark is out at a work dinner so I've been completely on my own for dinner, bath and bed tonight. Not my favorite, but we got through it.
I'm just dawdling now. I need to sleep while I can. Goodnight.
17 September 2013
Second Day of Real Life
So, you know what I said last time about life here being easier because we don't have a car? Yeah, go ahead and forget that completely.
Today was our second day of 'real life' after returning from our trip back to America. We woke up at a normal time and got ready for the day as if she was going to nursery. I called it our practice run. We would have been late, but now I know how much time things will actually take.
The morning was nice. We walked by her nursery, went to the post office and then stopped off at Starbucks because I had to feed Violet and it's the only place around that has enough seating that I might actually find a place to sit. I almost never go to Starbucks on principal. Why go to Starbucks when I live in London and could go anywhere else? Well, while I was there (maybe 30 minutes total) I ran into 5 different people that I know. Some of them knew each other, but not all of them. It was crazy. Maybe if I'm feeling lonely and like I don't have friends, I'll just go to Starbucks. :)
Later that day...
I was totally absorbed in organizing the new clothes that I bought for Vivian in my two-day shopping spree and didn't realize that the time was flying by and it was now 30 minutes until ballet started. It was her first day in 'primary' class which means that I wasn't in the room with her. I was worried that it might be upsetting so I wanted to get there early. Ballet is a full mile away from our house and even if I walk by myself at top speed it would still take me 10-12 minutes (considering all of the street crossings etc). We got out of the house at 3:20, made it there by 3:38 and rushed into the changing room only to realize that I had completely forgotten her ballet kit (uniform). I had to ask the teacher to get one for Vivian to borrow which made class start late.
Vivian did great. She didn't cry. Once she saw me looking at her through the window and said, "Hold me, Mama," but that was it. She just pranced around following directions like a champ, from what I saw. Half the time I was sitting on the sofa trying to get Violet to nurse. (She has gotten very picky and will now only really eat while laying down on the bed with me. It's a problem... I think I need to call a specialist.) At one point I tried to talk to someone while she was latched on only to discover a second later that she had pulled off and was completely drenched by the firehose of milk streaming toward her.
After ballet we got all changed and decided that walking a tiny bit farther down the high road toward Tooting was better to do in the late afternoon rain than making a separate trip another time. I got it in my head this morning that I want to knit pink, red, black and white matching scarves for the girls. I haven't knit in at least 2 years and honestly don't know if I will remember how to knit and purl. But, I needed yarn (they call it wool here. If it's cotton, they call it cotton wool. That's what they also call baby wipes...weird) and I needed it at 5 p.m. in the rain, so we walked to the craft store.
As we were leaving the craft store it sunk in that this wasn't a good idea. By the time we got home (and Vivi had walked through all of the puddles in her regular shoes) we were soaked and it was almost 5:30. I rushed to get dinner ready and managed to spill Balsamic vinaigrette on my new white shirt. I took that off to clean it and then spilled pasta sauce on my white tank top and new jeans. Seriously? Vivian managed to drop a bowl of dressing which bounced on the footrest of her chair and splashed all over the dining room. I'll probably be cleaning up drips of it for weeks!
*****
I got distracted writing that post and don't know what I was going to conclude with. It's now Thursday and I had an epiphany tonight. These days life is nonstop. Vivian and Violet keep me on my toes, but routine should help free up some time to actually make a nice dinner or get more than one room of the house clean at a time (right???? Someone please tell me I'm right!). In the meantime, I'm really going to try to stop dwelling on how tired I am and how much work this is, and try to enjoy the little bugs. Today I had a tea party with Vivian and she was so excited! She made me a pretend cake and cut it into pieces with a spoon. She served me pretend cherry tea (with real toy cherries in the cup) and dumped an entire bowl of pretend sugar in my tea. When I woke her up from her nap this afternoon (if I don't wake her up she stays up until 10 or later at night) she just wanted to cuddle. Tonight when I put Violet down, I let her fall asleep in my arms and kissed her fluffy little cheeks a few (ok, about a hundred) times before I laid her down. I've decided that maybe the things that are stressing me out and making me SO incredibly grumpy (you can ask Mark... he will probably be nice about it, but I've been GRUMP-Y the last couple of days) maybe aren't that important.
So... if you come to my house you will see laundry piled up on the kitchen table and counter and stove top, clothes hanging from the drying rack, Violet's activity mat in the middle of the kitchen floor, mail piled up, dirt on the carpet, toys still out in the living room and playroom and water still in the bathtub from Violet's bath 3 hours ago. But, I'm going to bed. If I don't get sleep I will continue being a grump, which makes me a verifiably bad mother.
Today was our second day of 'real life' after returning from our trip back to America. We woke up at a normal time and got ready for the day as if she was going to nursery. I called it our practice run. We would have been late, but now I know how much time things will actually take.
The morning was nice. We walked by her nursery, went to the post office and then stopped off at Starbucks because I had to feed Violet and it's the only place around that has enough seating that I might actually find a place to sit. I almost never go to Starbucks on principal. Why go to Starbucks when I live in London and could go anywhere else? Well, while I was there (maybe 30 minutes total) I ran into 5 different people that I know. Some of them knew each other, but not all of them. It was crazy. Maybe if I'm feeling lonely and like I don't have friends, I'll just go to Starbucks. :)
Later that day...
I was totally absorbed in organizing the new clothes that I bought for Vivian in my two-day shopping spree and didn't realize that the time was flying by and it was now 30 minutes until ballet started. It was her first day in 'primary' class which means that I wasn't in the room with her. I was worried that it might be upsetting so I wanted to get there early. Ballet is a full mile away from our house and even if I walk by myself at top speed it would still take me 10-12 minutes (considering all of the street crossings etc). We got out of the house at 3:20, made it there by 3:38 and rushed into the changing room only to realize that I had completely forgotten her ballet kit (uniform). I had to ask the teacher to get one for Vivian to borrow which made class start late.
Vivian did great. She didn't cry. Once she saw me looking at her through the window and said, "Hold me, Mama," but that was it. She just pranced around following directions like a champ, from what I saw. Half the time I was sitting on the sofa trying to get Violet to nurse. (She has gotten very picky and will now only really eat while laying down on the bed with me. It's a problem... I think I need to call a specialist.) At one point I tried to talk to someone while she was latched on only to discover a second later that she had pulled off and was completely drenched by the firehose of milk streaming toward her.
After ballet we got all changed and decided that walking a tiny bit farther down the high road toward Tooting was better to do in the late afternoon rain than making a separate trip another time. I got it in my head this morning that I want to knit pink, red, black and white matching scarves for the girls. I haven't knit in at least 2 years and honestly don't know if I will remember how to knit and purl. But, I needed yarn (they call it wool here. If it's cotton, they call it cotton wool. That's what they also call baby wipes...weird) and I needed it at 5 p.m. in the rain, so we walked to the craft store.
As we were leaving the craft store it sunk in that this wasn't a good idea. By the time we got home (and Vivi had walked through all of the puddles in her regular shoes) we were soaked and it was almost 5:30. I rushed to get dinner ready and managed to spill Balsamic vinaigrette on my new white shirt. I took that off to clean it and then spilled pasta sauce on my white tank top and new jeans. Seriously? Vivian managed to drop a bowl of dressing which bounced on the footrest of her chair and splashed all over the dining room. I'll probably be cleaning up drips of it for weeks!
*****
I got distracted writing that post and don't know what I was going to conclude with. It's now Thursday and I had an epiphany tonight. These days life is nonstop. Vivian and Violet keep me on my toes, but routine should help free up some time to actually make a nice dinner or get more than one room of the house clean at a time (right???? Someone please tell me I'm right!). In the meantime, I'm really going to try to stop dwelling on how tired I am and how much work this is, and try to enjoy the little bugs. Today I had a tea party with Vivian and she was so excited! She made me a pretend cake and cut it into pieces with a spoon. She served me pretend cherry tea (with real toy cherries in the cup) and dumped an entire bowl of pretend sugar in my tea. When I woke her up from her nap this afternoon (if I don't wake her up she stays up until 10 or later at night) she just wanted to cuddle. Tonight when I put Violet down, I let her fall asleep in my arms and kissed her fluffy little cheeks a few (ok, about a hundred) times before I laid her down. I've decided that maybe the things that are stressing me out and making me SO incredibly grumpy (you can ask Mark... he will probably be nice about it, but I've been GRUMP-Y the last couple of days) maybe aren't that important.
So... if you come to my house you will see laundry piled up on the kitchen table and counter and stove top, clothes hanging from the drying rack, Violet's activity mat in the middle of the kitchen floor, mail piled up, dirt on the carpet, toys still out in the living room and playroom and water still in the bathtub from Violet's bath 3 hours ago. But, I'm going to bed. If I don't get sleep I will continue being a grump, which makes me a verifiably bad mother.
15 September 2013
Back in London
We returned home on Friday afternoon to a completely overgrown garden. To be fair the garden was slightly overgrown when we left, but now it looks like the vines have taken over. The climbing rose bush that covers the east wall of the garden has shoots about an inch in diameter that are arching more than halfway over the width of the garden. It's crazy out there. As soon as it stops raining for more than 5 minutes I'll put on my protective clothing and go brave the thorny vines.
We were also apparently welcomed home by either a tribe of mice or one very busy mouse. A bunch of the dry goods in our pantry were nibbled through. In addition to obvious mouse activity we found the tiny little crawling wormy bugs that hatch into moths. If there is one thing that my mother has taught me, it's that you don't mess around when it comes to getting moths. Therefore... we threw away ALL of our dry goods. It was so sad. Flour, sugar, nuts and seeds, oats, rice. I was disappointed but it is nice to get the cupboards cleaned out and scrubbed down (does that make me neurotic?).
So, after inspecting, tossing, scrubbing, moving and replacing all of the food in our kitchen, we are now getting back to the task at hand - unpacking, laundry, and of course, reminiscing about the wonderful time that we had with family and friends in the States.
We are so fortunate to be surrounded by wonderful families as well as irreplaceable friends. Flying home on Thursday night was hard for me. I cried on the plane during takeoff while I nursed Violet. I had to be sneaky about it because it was 9 p.m. and Vivian was tired... plus, she's really sensitive to begin with. I was just so sad to be leaving a place that is so comfortable for me and people that are so dear to me.
The things that stuck out in my mind as we travelled around the US were a bit less drastic than they were the first time around. Mostly things felt comfortable to me. I felt like I was home and was pretty sure I would be just fine never coming back to London.
It did strike me a bit that there are so many incredibly fat people in America. I mean HUGE. We were in Wisconsin at the Burnett County Dairy getting ice cream cones and there was a family there that was enormous. Every member of the family was individually huge and they were all eating double and triple scoops. It was very American. You just don't see people that big over here. England is probably one of the fatter European countries and you still never see people like that.
I also was struck by how many people drive just down the road when they could just walk. Having to get a baby in and out of her carseat and then in and out of the device with which to carry her when she's not in the car is quite work intensive. It made me actually appreciate that about where I live now. I don't have a car so there are a few things that are more difficult (Costco runs, grocery shopping, shopping for clothes, getting somewhere quickly... okay, a lot of things). What is easier now, though is toting a baby around. We leave the house with the buggy, the Ergo or Baby Bjorn, the diaper bag and the girls. We don't have to re-configure anything once we get to the grocery store or the library. We just walk in the same way that we left our house. That is nice at this stage of my life. If Violet slept better in a carseat maybe I would feel differently.
I did a lot of shopping while I was in California and Chicago. I think that some people might think I'm a little crazy because I was so nutso about shopping, but in my defense, I have been pregnant for a while and it's always nice to buy clothes once you're not huge anymore. Also, London is quite expensive and since I don't have a car it is difficult to get anywhere during a reasonable period of time without the girls. I could have done it when it was just Vivian, but once again, I was pregnant. Plus, I like the stores that I like with the sizes that fit me and the styles that agree with me. Therefore, I went to Eddie Bauer, Von Maur, TJ Maxx, Target, Dillards and Old Navy. I returned home with a pretty decent haul and am feeling quite stylish already! At church I got compliments on my new floral print button down shirt... Yay! Now I just need to find the perfect boots and I'll be set for all of winter.
Speaking of church, we went back today. We were almost 20 minutes late, but better late than never, right? It was really nice because people were so excited to see us. It's nice to be part of a community like this. I have noticed that we have our own little cliques at church... we don't talk to every single person, but we do talk to quite a few. Maybe one of my goals can be expanding my circle. I need to continue practicing being the person I want to be.
When we were in Stockton, we went to the church that I grew up attending. I was pretty optimistic about how I would find it since we have been going to church so regularly here. I thought that some of the skepticism and doubt that I had about my home church prior to moving to England would have abated now that we've been attending C of E regularly. I was wrong. I don't want to go into too much detail, but I was very disappointed in my experience. I felt that I was not welcome because of my children and I felt that any viewpoint other than the one stated from the pulpit was not only unwelcome but condemned. As a result I began questioning whether all of the nice people that I grew up admiring and loving were actually what they seemed to be. I guess I shouldn't judge people that way. My parents were there too, and I don't think they fit the mold that I have created based on that experience.
Now that we're back in London I have to admit that it's nice. This is our home now. We have a nice house, a great neighbourhood, a wonderful church community and a good routine. Vivian starts school at the local nursery (pre-school) on Thursday. Once that happens we will be getting into a pretty solid and unchanging groove for a while. That will be nice. Our weekends and half-term breaks we can spend fighting the English crowds at desirable European destinations. Now that Vivi is in school we are going to be tied down for the next 20 years (GULP). That makes me a bit nervous, but people do it all the time, right? That is my comfort for everything... child rearing included, which is a whole 'nuther' story!
We were also apparently welcomed home by either a tribe of mice or one very busy mouse. A bunch of the dry goods in our pantry were nibbled through. In addition to obvious mouse activity we found the tiny little crawling wormy bugs that hatch into moths. If there is one thing that my mother has taught me, it's that you don't mess around when it comes to getting moths. Therefore... we threw away ALL of our dry goods. It was so sad. Flour, sugar, nuts and seeds, oats, rice. I was disappointed but it is nice to get the cupboards cleaned out and scrubbed down (does that make me neurotic?).
So, after inspecting, tossing, scrubbing, moving and replacing all of the food in our kitchen, we are now getting back to the task at hand - unpacking, laundry, and of course, reminiscing about the wonderful time that we had with family and friends in the States.
We are so fortunate to be surrounded by wonderful families as well as irreplaceable friends. Flying home on Thursday night was hard for me. I cried on the plane during takeoff while I nursed Violet. I had to be sneaky about it because it was 9 p.m. and Vivian was tired... plus, she's really sensitive to begin with. I was just so sad to be leaving a place that is so comfortable for me and people that are so dear to me.
The things that stuck out in my mind as we travelled around the US were a bit less drastic than they were the first time around. Mostly things felt comfortable to me. I felt like I was home and was pretty sure I would be just fine never coming back to London.
It did strike me a bit that there are so many incredibly fat people in America. I mean HUGE. We were in Wisconsin at the Burnett County Dairy getting ice cream cones and there was a family there that was enormous. Every member of the family was individually huge and they were all eating double and triple scoops. It was very American. You just don't see people that big over here. England is probably one of the fatter European countries and you still never see people like that.
I also was struck by how many people drive just down the road when they could just walk. Having to get a baby in and out of her carseat and then in and out of the device with which to carry her when she's not in the car is quite work intensive. It made me actually appreciate that about where I live now. I don't have a car so there are a few things that are more difficult (Costco runs, grocery shopping, shopping for clothes, getting somewhere quickly... okay, a lot of things). What is easier now, though is toting a baby around. We leave the house with the buggy, the Ergo or Baby Bjorn, the diaper bag and the girls. We don't have to re-configure anything once we get to the grocery store or the library. We just walk in the same way that we left our house. That is nice at this stage of my life. If Violet slept better in a carseat maybe I would feel differently.
I did a lot of shopping while I was in California and Chicago. I think that some people might think I'm a little crazy because I was so nutso about shopping, but in my defense, I have been pregnant for a while and it's always nice to buy clothes once you're not huge anymore. Also, London is quite expensive and since I don't have a car it is difficult to get anywhere during a reasonable period of time without the girls. I could have done it when it was just Vivian, but once again, I was pregnant. Plus, I like the stores that I like with the sizes that fit me and the styles that agree with me. Therefore, I went to Eddie Bauer, Von Maur, TJ Maxx, Target, Dillards and Old Navy. I returned home with a pretty decent haul and am feeling quite stylish already! At church I got compliments on my new floral print button down shirt... Yay! Now I just need to find the perfect boots and I'll be set for all of winter.
Speaking of church, we went back today. We were almost 20 minutes late, but better late than never, right? It was really nice because people were so excited to see us. It's nice to be part of a community like this. I have noticed that we have our own little cliques at church... we don't talk to every single person, but we do talk to quite a few. Maybe one of my goals can be expanding my circle. I need to continue practicing being the person I want to be.
When we were in Stockton, we went to the church that I grew up attending. I was pretty optimistic about how I would find it since we have been going to church so regularly here. I thought that some of the skepticism and doubt that I had about my home church prior to moving to England would have abated now that we've been attending C of E regularly. I was wrong. I don't want to go into too much detail, but I was very disappointed in my experience. I felt that I was not welcome because of my children and I felt that any viewpoint other than the one stated from the pulpit was not only unwelcome but condemned. As a result I began questioning whether all of the nice people that I grew up admiring and loving were actually what they seemed to be. I guess I shouldn't judge people that way. My parents were there too, and I don't think they fit the mold that I have created based on that experience.
Now that we're back in London I have to admit that it's nice. This is our home now. We have a nice house, a great neighbourhood, a wonderful church community and a good routine. Vivian starts school at the local nursery (pre-school) on Thursday. Once that happens we will be getting into a pretty solid and unchanging groove for a while. That will be nice. Our weekends and half-term breaks we can spend fighting the English crowds at desirable European destinations. Now that Vivi is in school we are going to be tied down for the next 20 years (GULP). That makes me a bit nervous, but people do it all the time, right? That is my comfort for everything... child rearing included, which is a whole 'nuther' story!
22 August 2013
Back in the USA
I didn't think much about my reaction to things back in the US during this trip home. We've been home once and there were a few things that struck me, but it wasn't very drastic, so I thought this time would be the same. So far, it is with one exception... I was totally thrown off my the driver being on the left side of the car. Can you believe it? When we got into the car that picked us up to take us home last night I got in and did a double take. Then I got totally freaked out that it threw me off. It was a weird experience, and I'm sure it had nothing to do with the fact that I was tired, probably dehydrated and very busy trying to get both of my exhausted girls into a huge SUV. We don't have a car in London and drive maybe once a month to go to Costco or maybe on a trip out of the city. I am just really surprised that I've grown so used to that in particular.
Our flight was pretty good. Neither of us expected to get to sleep which was a good expectation to have because it was impossible. We left the house at 11 a.m. in London and arrived at Mark's parents house at 1:30 a.m. London time. That is a 13 hour trip which is not bad at all considering that we did what used to take people a year or so to do! It is, however, a long trip for a 3 year old that had no nap and only slept for one hour on the plane on my lap. Thank goodness for Mickey Mouse Clubhouse on the iPad.
We did have a couple of mishaps on the plane. First, Vivian dumped a cup of water on herself and we had to strip her down and change her clothes (luckily I brought extra clothes for her). Second, Vivian knocked her ENTIRE tray of dinner on the floor upside down. It was an accident and I decided to not use it as a teaching moment, so I got down on the ground with Violet in the Baby Bjorn and scraped chicken, green beans and their sauce out of the carpet. Fun. Third, while trying to help adjust Vivian's new "kid-sized" headphones I poked her right in the eye. She was a bit of a (loud) mess for a little while and I felt really bad.
Now we're at Mark's parents house. Everything is wonderful and comfortable and set up so nicely for us and I can't sleep. Vivian went to sleep as soon as her head hit the pillow around 8 and we haven't heard a peep from her since. She's sleeping in a big bed too, so I thought it might be a problem... NOPE! She's so wiped out. Violet has been great... just sleeping like a baby, which is a bit less restful than it sounds. Mark is generally a good sleeper, but both of us were wide awake and got the giggles around 4 a.m. It's amazing what kinds of things are absolutely hilarious when you're exhausted and have a tiny baby staring at you with huge owl eyes in the middle of the night.
I can't wait to see beloved family and friends... I have been so excited to come home and refill my reserves!
Our flight was pretty good. Neither of us expected to get to sleep which was a good expectation to have because it was impossible. We left the house at 11 a.m. in London and arrived at Mark's parents house at 1:30 a.m. London time. That is a 13 hour trip which is not bad at all considering that we did what used to take people a year or so to do! It is, however, a long trip for a 3 year old that had no nap and only slept for one hour on the plane on my lap. Thank goodness for Mickey Mouse Clubhouse on the iPad.
We did have a couple of mishaps on the plane. First, Vivian dumped a cup of water on herself and we had to strip her down and change her clothes (luckily I brought extra clothes for her). Second, Vivian knocked her ENTIRE tray of dinner on the floor upside down. It was an accident and I decided to not use it as a teaching moment, so I got down on the ground with Violet in the Baby Bjorn and scraped chicken, green beans and their sauce out of the carpet. Fun. Third, while trying to help adjust Vivian's new "kid-sized" headphones I poked her right in the eye. She was a bit of a (loud) mess for a little while and I felt really bad.
Now we're at Mark's parents house. Everything is wonderful and comfortable and set up so nicely for us and I can't sleep. Vivian went to sleep as soon as her head hit the pillow around 8 and we haven't heard a peep from her since. She's sleeping in a big bed too, so I thought it might be a problem... NOPE! She's so wiped out. Violet has been great... just sleeping like a baby, which is a bit less restful than it sounds. Mark is generally a good sleeper, but both of us were wide awake and got the giggles around 4 a.m. It's amazing what kinds of things are absolutely hilarious when you're exhausted and have a tiny baby staring at you with huge owl eyes in the middle of the night.
I can't wait to see beloved family and friends... I have been so excited to come home and refill my reserves!
13 August 2013
Violet's Birth
Violet Elizabeth Wurgler Adams was born on the 7th of June at 4:29 a.m. She was 8 days late. Before her birth I was getting really antsy about having the baby and wanted to get on with things. My mom gave me some great advice. She said that my life would be a lot more complicated once the baby came, so I should take advantage of the time while I had it and make a list of things that would be nice to get done if I could. I did! I got my hair cut, made some banana bread and generally relaxed. I felt much better once I just chilled out.
I will tell the nitty gritty NHS details in another post because otherwise this one would get way too long and I don't have chunks of time long enough to write posts like that anymore.
So, when I went into labour on Wednesday night around 11:30 p.m. I didn't wake up Mark because I wanted him to at least be well rested. I barely slept because I thought that things might happen really quickly this time around... they did not. My contractions were fairly regular all night and Thursday morning until Vivian woke up. That day I had Mark stay home thinking we would be having the baby any time. We went out to breakfast as a family of three and then sent Vivian to our neighbour and friend down the street. Nothing happened.
We picked Vivian up from our friend's house because she couldn't stay overnight there and put her to bed at home. As soon as she was in bed I started having more intense contractions and they were fairly regular. Our friend Rosie came over around 9 and we went to the hospital around 9:30. (Refer to the post about Violet's Birth and the NHS for the rest of this story... if you want to.) Violet was born at 4:29 a.m. and we were home by 4:30 p.m. to pick up Vivian. Rosie was amazing.
Rosie is an English woman who I met through the playgroup that I help with at church. When I told her I was pregnant in September I mentioned that I was nervous because I didn't know what to do with Vivian. She was so excited. She really wanted to be the one to come over and watch Vivian when I went into labour. She said that she didn't have anyone to watch her oldest daughter when her youngest was born and she wanted to be able to do that for someone. I have since learned that she is just an extremely helpful, loving and generous person. She is always doing nice things for people.
When we arrived home, Rosie was sitting on the front porch with Vivian and her two girls, Beatrice and Isabel. Vivian was super happy and had been having a blast. What a blessing! It was so wonderful to not need to worry about Viv while we were at the hospital.
Right after we introduced Vivian to the baby (she wasn't named until she was 8 days old) we presented her with the gift that the baby had bought for Vivian. It was a brand new pink scooter. It was wrapped up in sparkly silver paper that Viv had a great time ripping open. She was SOOO excited! She started scooting around the house (of course we had to set up some rules right away. No scooting in the house.) We talked her into presenting her gifts to the baby before she went out scooting with her dad. Mark took her out scooting for quite a while and I sat on the couch gazing at my sweet newborn baby girl. I was so happy.
I will tell the nitty gritty NHS details in another post because otherwise this one would get way too long and I don't have chunks of time long enough to write posts like that anymore.
So, when I went into labour on Wednesday night around 11:30 p.m. I didn't wake up Mark because I wanted him to at least be well rested. I barely slept because I thought that things might happen really quickly this time around... they did not. My contractions were fairly regular all night and Thursday morning until Vivian woke up. That day I had Mark stay home thinking we would be having the baby any time. We went out to breakfast as a family of three and then sent Vivian to our neighbour and friend down the street. Nothing happened.
We picked Vivian up from our friend's house because she couldn't stay overnight there and put her to bed at home. As soon as she was in bed I started having more intense contractions and they were fairly regular. Our friend Rosie came over around 9 and we went to the hospital around 9:30. (Refer to the post about Violet's Birth and the NHS for the rest of this story... if you want to.) Violet was born at 4:29 a.m. and we were home by 4:30 p.m. to pick up Vivian. Rosie was amazing.
Rosie is an English woman who I met through the playgroup that I help with at church. When I told her I was pregnant in September I mentioned that I was nervous because I didn't know what to do with Vivian. She was so excited. She really wanted to be the one to come over and watch Vivian when I went into labour. She said that she didn't have anyone to watch her oldest daughter when her youngest was born and she wanted to be able to do that for someone. I have since learned that she is just an extremely helpful, loving and generous person. She is always doing nice things for people.
When we arrived home, Rosie was sitting on the front porch with Vivian and her two girls, Beatrice and Isabel. Vivian was super happy and had been having a blast. What a blessing! It was so wonderful to not need to worry about Viv while we were at the hospital.
Right after we introduced Vivian to the baby (she wasn't named until she was 8 days old) we presented her with the gift that the baby had bought for Vivian. It was a brand new pink scooter. It was wrapped up in sparkly silver paper that Viv had a great time ripping open. She was SOOO excited! She started scooting around the house (of course we had to set up some rules right away. No scooting in the house.) We talked her into presenting her gifts to the baby before she went out scooting with her dad. Mark took her out scooting for quite a while and I sat on the couch gazing at my sweet newborn baby girl. I was so happy.
20 May 2013
Pregnancy and the NHS - Part 2
Since I wrote the previous post on Pregnancy and the NHS I've had some interesting experiences that weren't quite so positive.
First off, I had to go to the hospital a few weeks ago because I was having heart palpitations. I was about 35 weeks at the time. In the morning I went to see my GP because my heart had been racing and skipping beats since the night before. When I saw her she had me do an ECG (EKG) and also checked the baby's heartbeat. The heartbeat was fine, but she told me that the baby was definitely breech. It's hard to stay calm when your heart is racing to start with, but finding out that I had a breech baby was even worse. I went out of the room and started crying (which of course made Vivian start crying). After my ECG she sent the results to the hospital and the cardio specialists there told me to come in.
My whole experience in the hospital was quite good. They took me very seriously and performed many tests to ensure that I was okay before sending me home. Apparently it's "normal" for your heart to skip beats sometimes. Nothing else was wrong besides an elevated pulse, but it didn't signify anything scary.
So, after getting discharged from the hospital I went home and called the midwife about this breech baby situation. And this is where things got frustrating. I said that the GP told me that my baby was breech and they said that I couldn't do anything about it until my 36 week appointment (which was actually at 36 weeks + 5 days). I begged them to just come in so that they could check and see what they thought. They said no. They wouldn't do anything about it until 37 weeks anyways because the baby could just flip back over. I did some research and learned that it's best to get the baby the right direction around 30 weeks, so I was freaking out. I ended up going in for acupuncture just in case because they say that acupuncture is very effective in turning the baby if it's breech, but won't turn it the wrong way if it's not.
After the acupuncture I didn't feel the baby turn at all and continued to be concerned. When my 36 week appointment finally arrived the midwife felt around and said she couldn't tell which direction the baby was facing and scheduled me for a scan two days later. While at my appointment she also told me that my sugar was high and referred me to a diabetic midwife. I didn't quite know what that meant, so I called back later to inquire and apparently that means that they send a letter to the hospital and a diabetic specialist midwife sends a letter through the post to you. I'm 37 weeks pregnant! Why are we sending things through the post about issues that need to be resolved as quickly as possible?
She also informed me that my iron was low based on blood tests taken at 26 weeks... SERIOUSLY?!?! Why wait 10 whole weeks to tell me that? I could have been working on this for 10 weeks! So frustrating. (Apparently it wasn't low enough to recommend supplements, but borderline which is why they didn't call... but still. COME ON.)
So, at 37 weeks I went to the hospital for my scan. The baby's head was down and everything looked normal. Apparently she appeared to weigh 8 pounds already, which is quite large, but those tests are often on the high side, so I'm not freaking out about it. While I was there I went to the Day Assessment Unit (which is where people go when they're having problems that the midwives can't help with in their regular neighbourhood offices) and politely demanded that they check me again for sugar and give me a strep b test. They reluctantly did both. (I had a friend tell me that with the NHS you have to be the squeaky wheel, so I was.)
After that I felt like the weight of the world had been lifted from my shoulders. I was excited about giving birth and the fear associated with what to do about the breech baby was gone. I wasn't too mad at the NHS anymore.
Now I'm 38 weeks + 4 days and I must say that I'm feeling pretty ready to go. There is absolutely no sign that anything is really happening, but life being this pregnant and still carrying on normal activities with Vivian is quite challenging. I'm doing it, but it's exhausting. On Mondays we walk a mile to ballet and a mile home (if we go straight there and back, which today we did not. We stopped at the grocery store on the way home.). Tuesdays I have a babysitter come in the morning so that I can run some errands and get some stuff done before the baby shows up. Wednesdays we do a playgroup at the church. Thursdays we have the morning off so we usually do things like cleaning and playing at home. Friday we have Music class. The afternoons are usually not scheduled but we often do playdates with other families. That might not sound like much, but it feels like a lot. Especially because in music class we stand up/sit down about 85 times during the course of 40 minutes. It's brutal. I'm looking forward to that particular activity not being such a challenge.
So... 10 days to go until the official due date, but we'll see what happens. I'll keep you posted!
First off, I had to go to the hospital a few weeks ago because I was having heart palpitations. I was about 35 weeks at the time. In the morning I went to see my GP because my heart had been racing and skipping beats since the night before. When I saw her she had me do an ECG (EKG) and also checked the baby's heartbeat. The heartbeat was fine, but she told me that the baby was definitely breech. It's hard to stay calm when your heart is racing to start with, but finding out that I had a breech baby was even worse. I went out of the room and started crying (which of course made Vivian start crying). After my ECG she sent the results to the hospital and the cardio specialists there told me to come in.
My whole experience in the hospital was quite good. They took me very seriously and performed many tests to ensure that I was okay before sending me home. Apparently it's "normal" for your heart to skip beats sometimes. Nothing else was wrong besides an elevated pulse, but it didn't signify anything scary.
So, after getting discharged from the hospital I went home and called the midwife about this breech baby situation. And this is where things got frustrating. I said that the GP told me that my baby was breech and they said that I couldn't do anything about it until my 36 week appointment (which was actually at 36 weeks + 5 days). I begged them to just come in so that they could check and see what they thought. They said no. They wouldn't do anything about it until 37 weeks anyways because the baby could just flip back over. I did some research and learned that it's best to get the baby the right direction around 30 weeks, so I was freaking out. I ended up going in for acupuncture just in case because they say that acupuncture is very effective in turning the baby if it's breech, but won't turn it the wrong way if it's not.
After the acupuncture I didn't feel the baby turn at all and continued to be concerned. When my 36 week appointment finally arrived the midwife felt around and said she couldn't tell which direction the baby was facing and scheduled me for a scan two days later. While at my appointment she also told me that my sugar was high and referred me to a diabetic midwife. I didn't quite know what that meant, so I called back later to inquire and apparently that means that they send a letter to the hospital and a diabetic specialist midwife sends a letter through the post to you. I'm 37 weeks pregnant! Why are we sending things through the post about issues that need to be resolved as quickly as possible?
She also informed me that my iron was low based on blood tests taken at 26 weeks... SERIOUSLY?!?! Why wait 10 whole weeks to tell me that? I could have been working on this for 10 weeks! So frustrating. (Apparently it wasn't low enough to recommend supplements, but borderline which is why they didn't call... but still. COME ON.)
So, at 37 weeks I went to the hospital for my scan. The baby's head was down and everything looked normal. Apparently she appeared to weigh 8 pounds already, which is quite large, but those tests are often on the high side, so I'm not freaking out about it. While I was there I went to the Day Assessment Unit (which is where people go when they're having problems that the midwives can't help with in their regular neighbourhood offices) and politely demanded that they check me again for sugar and give me a strep b test. They reluctantly did both. (I had a friend tell me that with the NHS you have to be the squeaky wheel, so I was.)
After that I felt like the weight of the world had been lifted from my shoulders. I was excited about giving birth and the fear associated with what to do about the breech baby was gone. I wasn't too mad at the NHS anymore.
Now I'm 38 weeks + 4 days and I must say that I'm feeling pretty ready to go. There is absolutely no sign that anything is really happening, but life being this pregnant and still carrying on normal activities with Vivian is quite challenging. I'm doing it, but it's exhausting. On Mondays we walk a mile to ballet and a mile home (if we go straight there and back, which today we did not. We stopped at the grocery store on the way home.). Tuesdays I have a babysitter come in the morning so that I can run some errands and get some stuff done before the baby shows up. Wednesdays we do a playgroup at the church. Thursdays we have the morning off so we usually do things like cleaning and playing at home. Friday we have Music class. The afternoons are usually not scheduled but we often do playdates with other families. That might not sound like much, but it feels like a lot. Especially because in music class we stand up/sit down about 85 times during the course of 40 minutes. It's brutal. I'm looking forward to that particular activity not being such a challenge.
So... 10 days to go until the official due date, but we'll see what happens. I'll keep you posted!
21 April 2013
British Accent
Ever since we announced that we were moving to London, people have been speculating about when Vivian will get a British accent.
Well... lately Viv has been doing this baby talk thing that has been driving me crazy. Whenever she does it I tell her to please speak in a "normal" voice to me. It turns out she is just speaking like most of the people that she spends time with (including the kids of American friends who also have accents).
Now that I know that I don't correct her anymore, but it still is quite annoying. It's funny... I thought I would love it and think it was so charming, but the transition is a bit less charming than I anticipated. She gets a different voice and speaks kind of funny, but nails the pronunciation of the vowels and everything.
I don't know if I've written a post about this, but when you call things "British" here, English people will often subtly correct you. For example, at Christmas I mentioned that I was making a Traditional British Christmas dinner and people would say, "Oh, a Traditional English Christmas... How lovely." It makes sense. 4 countries with their own history, culture and accents were brought together to form Great Britain, so of course they would distinguish themselves. I have been here almost a year and I still make that mistake... I'm working on it! So, I guess I should say English Accent rather than British.
Vivian starts nursery in September. She'll be going 15 hours a week, so I'm sure this whole accent thing will become much more noticeable. We'll see what happens when we visit the states at Christmas. I'm guessing she'll switch it on and off. We'll see.......
Well... lately Viv has been doing this baby talk thing that has been driving me crazy. Whenever she does it I tell her to please speak in a "normal" voice to me. It turns out she is just speaking like most of the people that she spends time with (including the kids of American friends who also have accents).
Now that I know that I don't correct her anymore, but it still is quite annoying. It's funny... I thought I would love it and think it was so charming, but the transition is a bit less charming than I anticipated. She gets a different voice and speaks kind of funny, but nails the pronunciation of the vowels and everything.
I don't know if I've written a post about this, but when you call things "British" here, English people will often subtly correct you. For example, at Christmas I mentioned that I was making a Traditional British Christmas dinner and people would say, "Oh, a Traditional English Christmas... How lovely." It makes sense. 4 countries with their own history, culture and accents were brought together to form Great Britain, so of course they would distinguish themselves. I have been here almost a year and I still make that mistake... I'm working on it! So, I guess I should say English Accent rather than British.
Vivian starts nursery in September. She'll be going 15 hours a week, so I'm sure this whole accent thing will become much more noticeable. We'll see what happens when we visit the states at Christmas. I'm guessing she'll switch it on and off. We'll see.......
05 March 2013
Motherhood
I try really hard to be a good mother. There are days when I think I'm doing a great job. I have not had one of those days in quite a while.
I feel like Vivian has the upper hand right now. Last night she woke up screaming at 11:41 (I had already been asleep for two hours) and stayed awake until almost 3. I have said it before, because I believe that it's true, "Exhaustion is the enemy of good parenting." I don't know how to do this. I'm totally wiped out. I can't nap during the day because of the construction going on next door and I can't get more than two hours of sleep at a time at night.
I'm hosting book club tonight, which is great in terms of social progress since moving to London. Not so good in terms of getting to bed at a reasonable time. They often run until 11 and then there's cleanup.
I'm also hosting a dinner for women from my church tomorrow night. Once again, great social progress, but bad for ever catching up on this sleep.
When I was pregnant with Vivian I seem to remember being mostly happy and excited and glowy. Now I feel worn down, haggard and overly emotional. I've been crying every time someone asks me how I'm doing. I'm sitting here writing in my blog for my own sanity, but I should be prepping for book club tonight. I need to make quiches and a crudite platter.
I guess it's a good thing that I'm already pregnant, because I can honestly say that I don't know that I would try to do this again if I wasn't. I feel like I look like I've aged 10 years in the past two. Maybe that's what happens in your thirties. Maybe that's what happens when you have kids. Maybe that's what happens when you have kids in your thirties.
I feel like Vivian has the upper hand right now. Last night she woke up screaming at 11:41 (I had already been asleep for two hours) and stayed awake until almost 3. I have said it before, because I believe that it's true, "Exhaustion is the enemy of good parenting." I don't know how to do this. I'm totally wiped out. I can't nap during the day because of the construction going on next door and I can't get more than two hours of sleep at a time at night.
I'm hosting book club tonight, which is great in terms of social progress since moving to London. Not so good in terms of getting to bed at a reasonable time. They often run until 11 and then there's cleanup.
I'm also hosting a dinner for women from my church tomorrow night. Once again, great social progress, but bad for ever catching up on this sleep.
When I was pregnant with Vivian I seem to remember being mostly happy and excited and glowy. Now I feel worn down, haggard and overly emotional. I've been crying every time someone asks me how I'm doing. I'm sitting here writing in my blog for my own sanity, but I should be prepping for book club tonight. I need to make quiches and a crudite platter.
I guess it's a good thing that I'm already pregnant, because I can honestly say that I don't know that I would try to do this again if I wasn't. I feel like I look like I've aged 10 years in the past two. Maybe that's what happens in your thirties. Maybe that's what happens when you have kids. Maybe that's what happens when you have kids in your thirties.
02 March 2013
Bit of a Breakdown
I started crying on Northcote Road today.
Saturdays are usually super fun family days where we get up, go to breakfast and do something fun together before Vivi's nap. Today I had planned to take Viv out to breakfast, but by the time we were up and ready I decided it was smarter to just eat before we went anywhere. I wanted to check out a shop that sells maternity clothes on Northcote Road, so we got to take the big red bus a couple of stops. As soon as we got on the bus Viv started crying because she wanted to sit in a seat upstairs. Well, I can't carry her and the buggy and my belly up those stairs, so she ended up continuing to cry until we got off the bus. No explanations helped.
We went to the maternity store and the stuff I wanted to try on didn't really work and there was nothing there that looked appealing so we went to the kids store next door and found some rubber duckies that don't have holes in the bottom... Why do so many bath toys have holes in the bottom? The water gets in and then they can't get dry enough and end up molding... terrible. Vivi was so excited about her new duckies that she carried them for quite a ways until she got tired. We stopped at one more shop which is a child's charity shop (thrift store). At that point she asked nicely if she could hold the pink rubber duckie. Of course. So I got it out for her and she immediately started screaming because the duckies tail got in the way of her holding it around the neck like she wanted. I finally took it away and she calmed down.
10 yards down the road (with very narrow sidewalks and a very busy street) she noticed that in my attempt to get the pink duckie out of the duckie cylinder the green duckie got turned around. It was at the bottom and she wanted me to straighten it out. No way. Screaming fit. I asked her to hold my hand and she had a complete meltdown. She wouldn't hold my hand and she wouldn't get in the buggy. I tried everything. Eventually I started crying too, because what else could I do. She wouldn't move, she wouldn't cooperate and she was completely beyond reason. I know she was exhausted, but I can't get her home unless she works with me. I am no longer capable on just picking her up and walking with her kicking and screaming. My belly is too big, she's too big and I can't take deep enough breaths to handle it. So, I sat there crying on the side of one of the busiest streets in Southwest London with happy families walking past me constantly while my toddler screamed as if I were beating her.
Eventually she just calmed herself down and asked to get in the buggy and then happily played with her pink duck while I slowly pushed her home.
She's exhausted. She hasn't been sleeping during her nap. I'm exhausted. I have been waking up every two hours and can't nap during the day because they're doing construction next door. I'm reading a book about Highly Sensitive Children (I think she's highly sensitive for several reasons) and supposedly there is a section that talks about how to discipline children like that. Maybe I should skip ahead.
When we got home we cuddled on the couch a little bit and then I told her it was time to go potty and take a nap. Once again, complete meltdown. I can't force her to sit on the toilet. Somehow I talked her into it and then she freaked out again when I said we needed to go upstairs instead of downstairs because it was naptime. She refused. So, I picked her up and put her in her room and shut the door. She screamed bloody murder while I sat and cried some more. Eventually I went in there, crying, and just told her that I don't know how I'm supposed to handle these situations. She started crying more and told me not to cry. Then she told me that she loved me. I told her that it is really hard for me when she doesn't cooperate and she screams and she told me that she didn't want to scream. It was actually kind of a sweet moment, but man, I was just at the end of my rope. I feel like I'm getting worse and worse at being a mom. I'm too tired. I don't have the strength to hold her for hours at a time like she wants me to. And I honestly have no idea how to handle these meltdown moments. The only thing I can think of is that we should have just stayed home so that I could put her down early since she's obviously really tired. But then I'm totally trapped.
I need some solid, uninterrupted sleep and a glass of wine. But I guess both will have to wait.
Saturdays are usually super fun family days where we get up, go to breakfast and do something fun together before Vivi's nap. Today I had planned to take Viv out to breakfast, but by the time we were up and ready I decided it was smarter to just eat before we went anywhere. I wanted to check out a shop that sells maternity clothes on Northcote Road, so we got to take the big red bus a couple of stops. As soon as we got on the bus Viv started crying because she wanted to sit in a seat upstairs. Well, I can't carry her and the buggy and my belly up those stairs, so she ended up continuing to cry until we got off the bus. No explanations helped.
We went to the maternity store and the stuff I wanted to try on didn't really work and there was nothing there that looked appealing so we went to the kids store next door and found some rubber duckies that don't have holes in the bottom... Why do so many bath toys have holes in the bottom? The water gets in and then they can't get dry enough and end up molding... terrible. Vivi was so excited about her new duckies that she carried them for quite a ways until she got tired. We stopped at one more shop which is a child's charity shop (thrift store). At that point she asked nicely if she could hold the pink rubber duckie. Of course. So I got it out for her and she immediately started screaming because the duckies tail got in the way of her holding it around the neck like she wanted. I finally took it away and she calmed down.
10 yards down the road (with very narrow sidewalks and a very busy street) she noticed that in my attempt to get the pink duckie out of the duckie cylinder the green duckie got turned around. It was at the bottom and she wanted me to straighten it out. No way. Screaming fit. I asked her to hold my hand and she had a complete meltdown. She wouldn't hold my hand and she wouldn't get in the buggy. I tried everything. Eventually I started crying too, because what else could I do. She wouldn't move, she wouldn't cooperate and she was completely beyond reason. I know she was exhausted, but I can't get her home unless she works with me. I am no longer capable on just picking her up and walking with her kicking and screaming. My belly is too big, she's too big and I can't take deep enough breaths to handle it. So, I sat there crying on the side of one of the busiest streets in Southwest London with happy families walking past me constantly while my toddler screamed as if I were beating her.
Eventually she just calmed herself down and asked to get in the buggy and then happily played with her pink duck while I slowly pushed her home.
She's exhausted. She hasn't been sleeping during her nap. I'm exhausted. I have been waking up every two hours and can't nap during the day because they're doing construction next door. I'm reading a book about Highly Sensitive Children (I think she's highly sensitive for several reasons) and supposedly there is a section that talks about how to discipline children like that. Maybe I should skip ahead.
When we got home we cuddled on the couch a little bit and then I told her it was time to go potty and take a nap. Once again, complete meltdown. I can't force her to sit on the toilet. Somehow I talked her into it and then she freaked out again when I said we needed to go upstairs instead of downstairs because it was naptime. She refused. So, I picked her up and put her in her room and shut the door. She screamed bloody murder while I sat and cried some more. Eventually I went in there, crying, and just told her that I don't know how I'm supposed to handle these situations. She started crying more and told me not to cry. Then she told me that she loved me. I told her that it is really hard for me when she doesn't cooperate and she screams and she told me that she didn't want to scream. It was actually kind of a sweet moment, but man, I was just at the end of my rope. I feel like I'm getting worse and worse at being a mom. I'm too tired. I don't have the strength to hold her for hours at a time like she wants me to. And I honestly have no idea how to handle these meltdown moments. The only thing I can think of is that we should have just stayed home so that I could put her down early since she's obviously really tired. But then I'm totally trapped.
I need some solid, uninterrupted sleep and a glass of wine. But I guess both will have to wait.
11 January 2013
Why London might be the best thing that ever happened to me
It's been a while... sorry. I have the best intentions of "catching up" and back-filling all of the stuff that I've neglected to record over the past few months.
Speaking of intentions...
The past few days after my parents left to go back home, I have been really concentrating on improving who I am as a mother. Having my mom and dad here to ask about little details about parenting as they arise was totally invigorating. I have found that parenting a toddler can be very wearing. Sometimes I feel great, like I'm doing a wonderful job. A lot of times I feel worn down to the nub because the only thing I can do is count to three to get Vivian to do anything I ask of her.
My mom gave me the same advice that she's been giving me for the past year: Stay ahead of her. Make it fun. Change things up so that she doesn't get into patterns of obstinance.
That advice is amazing... but it's incredibly hard. That means that Vivian has to be my number one priority at the forefront of my mind all day long every day. It might seem like that's the case already since I stay home with her, but I realize now that it hasn't been. My priorities aren't always the same, but they often put her second, third or even fourth after laundry, making dinner, cleaning because someone is coming over, checking my email. I don't believe that I need to be focusing 100% of my attention on her during every waking hour. In my opinion that kind of attention could be a bit damaging for her development, but I do believe that I need to make a few adjustments in my scheduling and in my daily choices so that my job as a mother is front and center.
All of this brings me to why London might be the best thing that ever happened to me. Moving here has not been easy. It has been an emotional roller coaster as you know if you've been reading this blog or talking to me at all over the past 8 months. One of the reasons it has been so difficult is because nothing is easy anymore. I know that you probably had to read that sentence twice because it is so obvious that it couldn't possibly be what I meant. But it is... It is really nice to be comfortable. When we went home in November I felt so comfortable. I knew exactly where to go to buy the groceries I wanted and I knew exactly which brands to get. I was able to drive places and get there in a reasonably predictable amount of time. When I spent money I knew exactly how much I was spending in dollars. I ate yummy food that I was familiar with (and gained a bunch of weight, but that's entirely beside the point). I got to hang out with people I know and could be honest and comfortable with from the start. I didn't feel awkward about using my own American figures of speech. All in all, it was perfect! It was exactly what we needed and when we returned home to London we decided that we wouldn't have changed a thing! (So, thank you to everyone who was so warm and hospitable.)
I mention all of those comforts because they are in direct contrast to what life has been like for me the first few months in London. (I am just speaking for myself here. Mark and my experiences are really quite different. He would probably agree with me on some of what I say, but I don't want to make assumptions and speak for him.) Things have not been terrible. I have every necessary comfort and probably couldn't have had a better transition to a different country when I look at the big picture. The thing I missed the most was comfort. Nothing was comfortable. Nothing was easy. Having to learn new ways of doing basic things gets really tiring. Knowing how to easily navigate your daily life allows you to relax in a way that I just didn't do for quite a while. I'm starting to relax now and realize that maybe a little bit of discomfort isn't such a bad thing.
I haven't had a smart phone since we moved here. My prepaid phone makes texting super annoying so I do it as little as possible. The only way to get online is with the computer. It's a laptop so it's still portable but I can't do anything online while we're on the bus or walking to the market. I have been looking forward to getting an iPhone, and then today I read an article that kind of rocked my world. The author has decided to stop wasting her time with her children by being on her phone or computer all the time. It made me kind of glad that I haven't been able to get an iPhone yet. I don't have a lot of self-control when I have access to those kinds of devices. I also decided that maybe I'll put my laptop upstairs so that I only use it during Vivi's naps or after she's in bed.
These two topics seem to be inextricably linked for me. Moving to London has forced me to be incredibly intentional about almost every aspect of my life. A move towards cutting myself off from email and Facebook while Vivian is awake doesn't seem like it's that hard after the adjustments that we've all made over the past year. If we were still living our wonderfully comfortable life in Oak Park, I don't know if I would be willing to put up with that discomfort. I don't think I'd be willing to throw away my smart phone and get an annoying old phone that is so frustrating I never use it.
I have several friends who are really good at living intentionally. Just this past year a very good friend examined her life and decided that there were certain things missing from it, so she made some big changes. I was inspired at the time, but wasn't even comfortable enough in my life here to relate to what she meant. Now I am. It's wonderful to be comfortable. I am doing everything I can to get myself and my family to place where we are comfortable living here, in this house, in the city, in this country. But, while I'm working so hard to create the life that we want to be living, I figure I may as well do it in a way that is best for us all in the long run.
(And, now off to do some ironing while Vivian is still sleeping. Ironing... another super annoying and time-consuming thing that I have had to begin doing since we've moved here.)
Speaking of intentions...
The past few days after my parents left to go back home, I have been really concentrating on improving who I am as a mother. Having my mom and dad here to ask about little details about parenting as they arise was totally invigorating. I have found that parenting a toddler can be very wearing. Sometimes I feel great, like I'm doing a wonderful job. A lot of times I feel worn down to the nub because the only thing I can do is count to three to get Vivian to do anything I ask of her.
My mom gave me the same advice that she's been giving me for the past year: Stay ahead of her. Make it fun. Change things up so that she doesn't get into patterns of obstinance.
That advice is amazing... but it's incredibly hard. That means that Vivian has to be my number one priority at the forefront of my mind all day long every day. It might seem like that's the case already since I stay home with her, but I realize now that it hasn't been. My priorities aren't always the same, but they often put her second, third or even fourth after laundry, making dinner, cleaning because someone is coming over, checking my email. I don't believe that I need to be focusing 100% of my attention on her during every waking hour. In my opinion that kind of attention could be a bit damaging for her development, but I do believe that I need to make a few adjustments in my scheduling and in my daily choices so that my job as a mother is front and center.
All of this brings me to why London might be the best thing that ever happened to me. Moving here has not been easy. It has been an emotional roller coaster as you know if you've been reading this blog or talking to me at all over the past 8 months. One of the reasons it has been so difficult is because nothing is easy anymore. I know that you probably had to read that sentence twice because it is so obvious that it couldn't possibly be what I meant. But it is... It is really nice to be comfortable. When we went home in November I felt so comfortable. I knew exactly where to go to buy the groceries I wanted and I knew exactly which brands to get. I was able to drive places and get there in a reasonably predictable amount of time. When I spent money I knew exactly how much I was spending in dollars. I ate yummy food that I was familiar with (and gained a bunch of weight, but that's entirely beside the point). I got to hang out with people I know and could be honest and comfortable with from the start. I didn't feel awkward about using my own American figures of speech. All in all, it was perfect! It was exactly what we needed and when we returned home to London we decided that we wouldn't have changed a thing! (So, thank you to everyone who was so warm and hospitable.)
I mention all of those comforts because they are in direct contrast to what life has been like for me the first few months in London. (I am just speaking for myself here. Mark and my experiences are really quite different. He would probably agree with me on some of what I say, but I don't want to make assumptions and speak for him.) Things have not been terrible. I have every necessary comfort and probably couldn't have had a better transition to a different country when I look at the big picture. The thing I missed the most was comfort. Nothing was comfortable. Nothing was easy. Having to learn new ways of doing basic things gets really tiring. Knowing how to easily navigate your daily life allows you to relax in a way that I just didn't do for quite a while. I'm starting to relax now and realize that maybe a little bit of discomfort isn't such a bad thing.
I haven't had a smart phone since we moved here. My prepaid phone makes texting super annoying so I do it as little as possible. The only way to get online is with the computer. It's a laptop so it's still portable but I can't do anything online while we're on the bus or walking to the market. I have been looking forward to getting an iPhone, and then today I read an article that kind of rocked my world. The author has decided to stop wasting her time with her children by being on her phone or computer all the time. It made me kind of glad that I haven't been able to get an iPhone yet. I don't have a lot of self-control when I have access to those kinds of devices. I also decided that maybe I'll put my laptop upstairs so that I only use it during Vivi's naps or after she's in bed.
These two topics seem to be inextricably linked for me. Moving to London has forced me to be incredibly intentional about almost every aspect of my life. A move towards cutting myself off from email and Facebook while Vivian is awake doesn't seem like it's that hard after the adjustments that we've all made over the past year. If we were still living our wonderfully comfortable life in Oak Park, I don't know if I would be willing to put up with that discomfort. I don't think I'd be willing to throw away my smart phone and get an annoying old phone that is so frustrating I never use it.
I have several friends who are really good at living intentionally. Just this past year a very good friend examined her life and decided that there were certain things missing from it, so she made some big changes. I was inspired at the time, but wasn't even comfortable enough in my life here to relate to what she meant. Now I am. It's wonderful to be comfortable. I am doing everything I can to get myself and my family to place where we are comfortable living here, in this house, in the city, in this country. But, while I'm working so hard to create the life that we want to be living, I figure I may as well do it in a way that is best for us all in the long run.
(And, now off to do some ironing while Vivian is still sleeping. Ironing... another super annoying and time-consuming thing that I have had to begin doing since we've moved here.)
08 September 2012
While Mark is in Chicago
The expectations game continues to surprise me although I should know how it works by now. I have been absolutely dreading this week that Mark is in Chicago. It's one of the reasons I was so incredibly bummed out last Friday at the company Christmas party... I knew that Mark was leaving and I would be all alone with no friends and nothing to do.
But... this week has been so much fun. First of all, the weather has been outstanding which, I have come to realize, makes a HUGE difference. When the sun shines here it is like everything is okay. People are happy, everyone is outside wearing summer dresses and sandals and birds are singing.
Yesterday our next door neighbour invited us over to her house while she was feeding her 8 month old son. (I had invited them earlier in the day but they were napping so she invited us once she woke up.) We had a glass of wine while she fed Oscar and Vivi played in the garden with their bubble machine. She was really fun to talk to and very sweet with Vivian. I'm so thankful to have nice neighbours. (The ones on the other side are quite unfriendly, but I don't care... we have so many really nice neighbours that it doesn't bother me at all.)
Viv and I have been so busy this week that I cancelled something on Friday afternoon and was relieved that someone cancelled on me this morning. We have gone to the Olympics, I went to my first book club, we met an old friend and played in the park with her puppy, we walked barefoot in the grass in Wandsworth Common, we went to the sandbox twice (and this morning I took a book and laid in the sun and read while Viv played happily), we had a mini impromptu playdate with the next-door neighbour and we worked in the garden for hours this afternoon.
I miss Mark but I have to admit that I am really happy right now. I feel so encouraged by the past week. Mark was out of town, the one friend that I first made was out of town and we still stayed quite busy, were social and had a ton of fun! Now I'm looking forward to the first night that I'm going to sit on the couch and watch a movie by myself. Up until now I've been reading every chance I got and have finished We Bought a Zoo. It was a great book. Very engaging and fun. I look forward to going to Devon County to visit sometime.
I know that I promised to be honest in my blogs, and this is how I truly feel right now. If things were always like this, I would never want to move. We worked in the garden this afternoon and could hear neighbours next door and two doors down playing with their kids and having a blast in the sunshine. We saw snails, worms and a frog while we worked and played and Vivi was in heaven. Granted some of that is the magic of her age - everything is either exciting and amazing or absolutely terrible and today it happened to be amazing. As I was putting Viv to bed I looked out and saw the clouds turning pink as the sun went down. I went to open the window in my bedroom and looked out over this luscious garden area and these typical London terrace houses and saw a woman picking fruit off of the tree in her tiny garden. It was just idyllic.
I know that things will get hard again... I've learned that many times over. The good news is that the good times are getting better and more social and the bad times, while still excruciating, I know will pass. One of the reasons I'm probably okay is that it's been so long since we've seen anyone we really know. Mark's parents come this week. I am so excited to see them! Hopefully when they leave I'm not terribly sad again. Perhaps I'll just schedule another really busy and social week for right after they leave! For now I'm going to clean up the dishes, pour myself a glass of wine, crack open my dark chocolate with mint and watch my lovely British film.
But... this week has been so much fun. First of all, the weather has been outstanding which, I have come to realize, makes a HUGE difference. When the sun shines here it is like everything is okay. People are happy, everyone is outside wearing summer dresses and sandals and birds are singing.
Yesterday our next door neighbour invited us over to her house while she was feeding her 8 month old son. (I had invited them earlier in the day but they were napping so she invited us once she woke up.) We had a glass of wine while she fed Oscar and Vivi played in the garden with their bubble machine. She was really fun to talk to and very sweet with Vivian. I'm so thankful to have nice neighbours. (The ones on the other side are quite unfriendly, but I don't care... we have so many really nice neighbours that it doesn't bother me at all.)
Viv and I have been so busy this week that I cancelled something on Friday afternoon and was relieved that someone cancelled on me this morning. We have gone to the Olympics, I went to my first book club, we met an old friend and played in the park with her puppy, we walked barefoot in the grass in Wandsworth Common, we went to the sandbox twice (and this morning I took a book and laid in the sun and read while Viv played happily), we had a mini impromptu playdate with the next-door neighbour and we worked in the garden for hours this afternoon.
I miss Mark but I have to admit that I am really happy right now. I feel so encouraged by the past week. Mark was out of town, the one friend that I first made was out of town and we still stayed quite busy, were social and had a ton of fun! Now I'm looking forward to the first night that I'm going to sit on the couch and watch a movie by myself. Up until now I've been reading every chance I got and have finished We Bought a Zoo. It was a great book. Very engaging and fun. I look forward to going to Devon County to visit sometime.
I know that I promised to be honest in my blogs, and this is how I truly feel right now. If things were always like this, I would never want to move. We worked in the garden this afternoon and could hear neighbours next door and two doors down playing with their kids and having a blast in the sunshine. We saw snails, worms and a frog while we worked and played and Vivi was in heaven. Granted some of that is the magic of her age - everything is either exciting and amazing or absolutely terrible and today it happened to be amazing. As I was putting Viv to bed I looked out and saw the clouds turning pink as the sun went down. I went to open the window in my bedroom and looked out over this luscious garden area and these typical London terrace houses and saw a woman picking fruit off of the tree in her tiny garden. It was just idyllic.
I know that things will get hard again... I've learned that many times over. The good news is that the good times are getting better and more social and the bad times, while still excruciating, I know will pass. One of the reasons I'm probably okay is that it's been so long since we've seen anyone we really know. Mark's parents come this week. I am so excited to see them! Hopefully when they leave I'm not terribly sad again. Perhaps I'll just schedule another really busy and social week for right after they leave! For now I'm going to clean up the dishes, pour myself a glass of wine, crack open my dark chocolate with mint and watch my lovely British film.
04 September 2012
Paralympic Swimming / Olympic Park
On Sunday night out of the blue I got a text from a woman I had just exchanged numbers with at church that morning. She said she had two extra tickets for Paralympic Swimming on Tuesday morning and I could have them if I wanted them. Wow! I couldn't believe it. We had been trying to get tickets to anything we could find but everything was sold out... what a stroke of luck! (Mark was going to be in Chicago so he wouldn't have been able to go even if there was a ticket for him.)
We got up early this morning and left the house by 7:30. It took quite a while to get there because it was rush hour on the tube (which was a first for me... wow is it hot in there!) but we still got into our seats just a bit after 9:30. I knew that there would be a lot of walking, but the stairs... oh my! We checked our buggy outside the area and Vivian proceeded to walk up 2 flights of stairs to get into the stadium, 4 flights to get up to our section and then probably the equivalent of 2 or 3 more to get up to our seats 5 rows from the very top. It was crazy and I couldn't believe that she did all that stair climbing herself!
I was a bit overwhelmed when we first arrived. We were watching people with no arms swim faster in the pool than I ever have with all of my full functioning limbs. A guy with no arms and only one leg took second place in one of the first events we saw. I was teared up for the first 20 - 30 minutes we were there. It was incredible. I have heard that the US is only airing 4 30 minute episodes of the paralympics and that's a shame. The people here are crazy over it. The stars of the paralympics are household names. At book club later in the evening we actually interrupted the conversation to watch a race because everyone was so into it.
So, we had a great time watching the events. I taught Viv to chant "USA USA" without any shame because we were at the Olympics for the love. She did great almost the whole time. She loved sitting on the steps (although it was kind of terrifying for me - I kept my arms in front of her most of the time) and then sitting on her chair that folded down. She had several different snacks to keep her busy and then right at the end I brought out the iPad to help her last to the end (of course she couldn't hear it so she was frustrated).
Once we got out into Olympic Park the real fun began. I had no idea where anything was a she decided it was a good time to start arching her back and screaming as though someone was trying to kill her. I ignored it and just pushed the buggy through the busiest picnic area I've ever seen. I was getting all kinds of stares and glares, but what am I supposed to do? She was out of control and there was nothing I could do. Finally she calmed down and we proceeded directly out of the park. It's kind of a shame. I know there were amazing things to see in there but I just could not do it. It wasn't enjoyable for me, it was about 100 degrees (ok probably about 70 but it seemed ridiculously hot) and she was on her last leg.
I decided to take the route that didn't require me to walk all the way back to the front entrance. It was the recommended route ... but it was probably 2.5 - 3 miles away! If I'd have know that I definitely would not have taken it. By the time we got to the train I was exhausted, sweaty and wished we'd never gone to the event. Of course I'm very glad that we went... it just makes me realize that when you go to something like that with a 2 year old it better be amazing! It was - I will never forget it, and I'll make sure that she's reminded of it regularly throughout her life! :)
We got up early this morning and left the house by 7:30. It took quite a while to get there because it was rush hour on the tube (which was a first for me... wow is it hot in there!) but we still got into our seats just a bit after 9:30. I knew that there would be a lot of walking, but the stairs... oh my! We checked our buggy outside the area and Vivian proceeded to walk up 2 flights of stairs to get into the stadium, 4 flights to get up to our section and then probably the equivalent of 2 or 3 more to get up to our seats 5 rows from the very top. It was crazy and I couldn't believe that she did all that stair climbing herself!
I was a bit overwhelmed when we first arrived. We were watching people with no arms swim faster in the pool than I ever have with all of my full functioning limbs. A guy with no arms and only one leg took second place in one of the first events we saw. I was teared up for the first 20 - 30 minutes we were there. It was incredible. I have heard that the US is only airing 4 30 minute episodes of the paralympics and that's a shame. The people here are crazy over it. The stars of the paralympics are household names. At book club later in the evening we actually interrupted the conversation to watch a race because everyone was so into it.
So, we had a great time watching the events. I taught Viv to chant "USA USA" without any shame because we were at the Olympics for the love. She did great almost the whole time. She loved sitting on the steps (although it was kind of terrifying for me - I kept my arms in front of her most of the time) and then sitting on her chair that folded down. She had several different snacks to keep her busy and then right at the end I brought out the iPad to help her last to the end (of course she couldn't hear it so she was frustrated).
Once we got out into Olympic Park the real fun began. I had no idea where anything was a she decided it was a good time to start arching her back and screaming as though someone was trying to kill her. I ignored it and just pushed the buggy through the busiest picnic area I've ever seen. I was getting all kinds of stares and glares, but what am I supposed to do? She was out of control and there was nothing I could do. Finally she calmed down and we proceeded directly out of the park. It's kind of a shame. I know there were amazing things to see in there but I just could not do it. It wasn't enjoyable for me, it was about 100 degrees (ok probably about 70 but it seemed ridiculously hot) and she was on her last leg.
I decided to take the route that didn't require me to walk all the way back to the front entrance. It was the recommended route ... but it was probably 2.5 - 3 miles away! If I'd have know that I definitely would not have taken it. By the time we got to the train I was exhausted, sweaty and wished we'd never gone to the event. Of course I'm very glad that we went... it just makes me realize that when you go to something like that with a 2 year old it better be amazing! It was - I will never forget it, and I'll make sure that she's reminded of it regularly throughout her life! :)
25 August 2012
Battersea Children's Zoo
There is an amazing little zoo / petting zoo / playground mecca in Battersea Park. It costs £8 for each adult to get in so it's a bit pricey but it was really fun.
They have donkeys, goats, bunnies, a pony and some other animals to pet and then they have a zoo area with birds, meerkats, otters, snakes, and other animals to watch. There was also an amazing assortment of playground centers that Vivian just LOVED. We had a great time there and once again wished that we didn't have to leave for nap time. To be honest it's probably good. Her attention span is great but even with so many things to do she needs some down time.
Right as we were leaving a goat just walked from across the field over to us and stood next to the fence for Viv to pet. It was kind of amazing. We were even trying to get his attention. I think that made Vivi's day!
I took a bunch of pictures and will post them later.
They have donkeys, goats, bunnies, a pony and some other animals to pet and then they have a zoo area with birds, meerkats, otters, snakes, and other animals to watch. There was also an amazing assortment of playground centers that Vivian just LOVED. We had a great time there and once again wished that we didn't have to leave for nap time. To be honest it's probably good. Her attention span is great but even with so many things to do she needs some down time.
Right as we were leaving a goat just walked from across the field over to us and stood next to the fence for Viv to pet. It was kind of amazing. We were even trying to get his attention. I think that made Vivi's day!
I took a bunch of pictures and will post them later.
20 August 2012
Normal?
Sorry that I've been pretty terrible at writing in the blog for the past few weeks. I realized that I think the reason for my lack of communication is that life here might possibly be starting to feel a bit normal. This is FANTASTIC for me. It's not without mini roller coasters (which I believe will probably continue for the next few months - I have heard it takes 9 months to adjust to a new culture/country), but there are a lot of really good things happening and good people that I'm meeting so I'm feeling like I might actually be getting involved in a community.
It's funny because I'm actually already more involved in this community than I ever was in Oak Park. I mean I had my playgroup which I LOVED (still do) and Viv and I went to music and My Gym, but I didn't really have anything that I did for myself. Now I'm joining 2 choirs and may even start taking a class! We've had one successful play date and have 2 more scheduled for this week. We have a babysitter who Vivian loves and I found a place to go get a massage.
Being a social person it makes a huge difference to me to have things to look forward to that involve people. We went to church for the third time on Sunday and once again talked to so many extremely nice people that live really close to us. Being open and honest about being new and not knowing anyone makes church people kind of want to take you under their wing... which I LOVE. I want to be one of those people!
Once school starts again our playgroup will get ramped up and we can begin going to other playgroups. There are a few that I've heard very good things about that I'm looking forward to checking out. It's all so different here in that regard, but I think that it's great.
Right now, Mark is in Germany. It makes me think about the last time that he was out of town while we were potty training. That trip of his to Italy will forever live in my memory because it was so horrible. I was so worn out and bummed that I was trapped. Now I feel fantastic. I roasted a chicken this afternoon mostly to make chicken stock from the bones, but I experimented by putting veggies underneath. When I pulled it out the veggies look charred to an inedible crisp but I tasted them anyways... They were DELICIOUS. I proceeded to eat every last bit of the veggies and tons of the meat and Viv enjoyed quite a chunk of it as well. Eating that food was one of the more amazing experiences I've had lately... and I made it myself!
Vivian and I also walked all the way down to this great playground in Tooting this afternoon and I met a really nice mum who talked with me for quite a long time. We ended up leaving and walking home together. Unfortunately she is moving to Surrey but she gave me some great tips for places to go to meet people and further encouraged me about how super sweet and welcoming everyone is around here (well, maybe not everyone, but enough people).
Mark surprised me last week by planning a trip to go visit the castle from Downton Abbey. He even took the day off work on Wednesday so that we can go. I am SO excited. I might actually have a hard time sleeping the night before. I'll take what pictures I can and do a post about that for sure. (I'm also going to write about our trip to the Cotswolds this past Saturday.)
Thanks so much to everyone for your love and support and prayers. Maybe I'm still glowing from that chicken experience earlier, but I really feel like we're coming out of the woods and really making a home for ourselves in this community!
It's funny because I'm actually already more involved in this community than I ever was in Oak Park. I mean I had my playgroup which I LOVED (still do) and Viv and I went to music and My Gym, but I didn't really have anything that I did for myself. Now I'm joining 2 choirs and may even start taking a class! We've had one successful play date and have 2 more scheduled for this week. We have a babysitter who Vivian loves and I found a place to go get a massage.
Being a social person it makes a huge difference to me to have things to look forward to that involve people. We went to church for the third time on Sunday and once again talked to so many extremely nice people that live really close to us. Being open and honest about being new and not knowing anyone makes church people kind of want to take you under their wing... which I LOVE. I want to be one of those people!
Once school starts again our playgroup will get ramped up and we can begin going to other playgroups. There are a few that I've heard very good things about that I'm looking forward to checking out. It's all so different here in that regard, but I think that it's great.
Right now, Mark is in Germany. It makes me think about the last time that he was out of town while we were potty training. That trip of his to Italy will forever live in my memory because it was so horrible. I was so worn out and bummed that I was trapped. Now I feel fantastic. I roasted a chicken this afternoon mostly to make chicken stock from the bones, but I experimented by putting veggies underneath. When I pulled it out the veggies look charred to an inedible crisp but I tasted them anyways... They were DELICIOUS. I proceeded to eat every last bit of the veggies and tons of the meat and Viv enjoyed quite a chunk of it as well. Eating that food was one of the more amazing experiences I've had lately... and I made it myself!
Vivian and I also walked all the way down to this great playground in Tooting this afternoon and I met a really nice mum who talked with me for quite a long time. We ended up leaving and walking home together. Unfortunately she is moving to Surrey but she gave me some great tips for places to go to meet people and further encouraged me about how super sweet and welcoming everyone is around here (well, maybe not everyone, but enough people).
Mark surprised me last week by planning a trip to go visit the castle from Downton Abbey. He even took the day off work on Wednesday so that we can go. I am SO excited. I might actually have a hard time sleeping the night before. I'll take what pictures I can and do a post about that for sure. (I'm also going to write about our trip to the Cotswolds this past Saturday.)
Thanks so much to everyone for your love and support and prayers. Maybe I'm still glowing from that chicken experience earlier, but I really feel like we're coming out of the woods and really making a home for ourselves in this community!
09 August 2012
Goldilocks and Just the One Bear
It's hard to convey the little differences in life here. To help me do it I am typing out the words to a book that Vivi LOVES called Goldilocks and Just the One Bear by Leigh Hodgkinson. We have to return it to the library today, but I'm sure we'll check it out again soon.
Once upon a time, there was this bear.
One minute, he was lolloping about in the wood all happy-go-lucky...
The next minute, he hadn't a crumb-of-a-clue where he was.
He was one COMPLETELY lost bear.
The bear didn't much like this place.
Too many bright lights and not enough twigs.
Too much loud honking and beeping and not NEARLY enough owl-hooting.
The bear was also a teeny bit scared and his furry legs had gone slightly WOBBLY.
"Maybe the thing to do," said the bear looking round, "is to nip into 'Snooty Towers' here, and get away from this TERRIBLE racket."
But the spinny 'Snooty Towers' door made the bear feel dizzy and being dizzy with wobbly legs was bad news.
What the bear needed was a little sit-down.
A little sit-down somewhere would DEFINITELY see him tickety-boo.
The bear peeked through a door and thought how very pleasant it was up here.
"Not nasty and noisy like down there," thought the bear. "Just the place for a little sit-down."
All that whooshy travelling was certainly a hungry business so, before his little sit-down, a spot of porridge seemed a good idea...
"THIS porridge is too SOGGY," said the bear.
"THIS porridge is too CRUNCHY," said the bear.
"THIS porridge is a little bit on the DRY side," said the bear, "but it is better than nothing."
Now the bear was ready for his little sit-down.
"THIS chair is too OUCHY," said the bear.
"THIS chair is too NOISY," said the bear.
"THIS chair is JUST right!" said the bear.
A little sit-down is all very well, but what the bear needed to feel really tickety-boo was a good old-fashioned lie-down in a comfy bed...
"...THIS bed is too FROTHY," said the bear.
"THIS bed is too PINK," said the bear.
"THIS bed is JUST right," yawned the bear.
And soon he nodded off.
The bear dreamt of...
...CRUNCHING through leaves.
The bear dreamt of pottering about in his slippers.
The bear dreamt of...
...a voice shouting very, VERY LOUDLY.
"SOMEBODY has been eating from MY fish bowl!" said the daddy person.
"SOMEBODY has been eating MY dear little Pumpkin's kittynibbles!" said the mummy person.
"And SOMEBODY has been eating MY toast," said the little person. "And they've eaten it all up!"
Unfortunately, the bear was not dreaming at all. He was WIDE-AWAKE and back in real life again.
"SOMEBODY has SQUISHED MY cactus!" said the daddy person.
"SOMEBODY has UPSET MY dear little Pumpkin!" said the mummy person.
"And SOMEBODY has POPPED MY bean bag!" said the little person.
"SOMEBODY has been sleeping in MY bath!" said the daddy person.
"SOMEBODY has been sleeping in MY bed!" said the mummy person.
"SHHHH!" whispered the little person. "I think that SOMEBODY is sleeping in MY bed right now!"
The bear peeked from under the duvet to see a daddy person, a mummy person and a little person standing right there.
The bear thought that the mummy person looked ever-so slightly familiar. And the mummy person thought that...
SCOFFING other people's breakfast,
BREAKING other people's stuff, and
SNOOZING in other people's beds...
seemed ever-so slightly familiar too. Then, the penny dropped...
"Little Bear?" said the mummy person.
"Goldilocks?" said the bear.
"Porridge?" asked Goldilocks.
The bear nodded.
So Goldilocks cooked up a BIG bowl and plonked it in front of him.
It was not too HOT.
It was not too COLD.
It was JUST right.
It made the bear almost forget about that once-upon-a-time when Goldilocks had behaved so badly.
THIS little bear would never DREAM of doing ANYTHING like that.
And although it had been good to see Goldilocks living so happily ever after with those CHARMING people, the bear decided it was time to go back home to the woods.
Once upon a time, there was this bear.
One minute, he was lolloping about in the wood all happy-go-lucky...
The next minute, he hadn't a crumb-of-a-clue where he was.
He was one COMPLETELY lost bear.
The bear didn't much like this place.
Too many bright lights and not enough twigs.
Too much loud honking and beeping and not NEARLY enough owl-hooting.
The bear was also a teeny bit scared and his furry legs had gone slightly WOBBLY.
"Maybe the thing to do," said the bear looking round, "is to nip into 'Snooty Towers' here, and get away from this TERRIBLE racket."
But the spinny 'Snooty Towers' door made the bear feel dizzy and being dizzy with wobbly legs was bad news.
What the bear needed was a little sit-down.
A little sit-down somewhere would DEFINITELY see him tickety-boo.
The bear peeked through a door and thought how very pleasant it was up here.
"Not nasty and noisy like down there," thought the bear. "Just the place for a little sit-down."
All that whooshy travelling was certainly a hungry business so, before his little sit-down, a spot of porridge seemed a good idea...
"THIS porridge is too SOGGY," said the bear.
"THIS porridge is too CRUNCHY," said the bear.
"THIS porridge is a little bit on the DRY side," said the bear, "but it is better than nothing."
Now the bear was ready for his little sit-down.
"THIS chair is too OUCHY," said the bear.
"THIS chair is too NOISY," said the bear.
"THIS chair is JUST right!" said the bear.
A little sit-down is all very well, but what the bear needed to feel really tickety-boo was a good old-fashioned lie-down in a comfy bed...
"...THIS bed is too FROTHY," said the bear.
"THIS bed is too PINK," said the bear.
"THIS bed is JUST right," yawned the bear.
And soon he nodded off.
The bear dreamt of...
...CRUNCHING through leaves.
The bear dreamt of pottering about in his slippers.
The bear dreamt of...
...a voice shouting very, VERY LOUDLY.
"SOMEBODY has been eating from MY fish bowl!" said the daddy person.
"SOMEBODY has been eating MY dear little Pumpkin's kittynibbles!" said the mummy person.
"And SOMEBODY has been eating MY toast," said the little person. "And they've eaten it all up!"
Unfortunately, the bear was not dreaming at all. He was WIDE-AWAKE and back in real life again.
"SOMEBODY has SQUISHED MY cactus!" said the daddy person.
"SOMEBODY has UPSET MY dear little Pumpkin!" said the mummy person.
"And SOMEBODY has POPPED MY bean bag!" said the little person.
"SOMEBODY has been sleeping in MY bath!" said the daddy person.
"SOMEBODY has been sleeping in MY bed!" said the mummy person.
"SHHHH!" whispered the little person. "I think that SOMEBODY is sleeping in MY bed right now!"
The bear peeked from under the duvet to see a daddy person, a mummy person and a little person standing right there.
The bear thought that the mummy person looked ever-so slightly familiar. And the mummy person thought that...
SCOFFING other people's breakfast,
BREAKING other people's stuff, and
SNOOZING in other people's beds...
seemed ever-so slightly familiar too. Then, the penny dropped...
"Little Bear?" said the mummy person.
"Goldilocks?" said the bear.
"Porridge?" asked Goldilocks.
The bear nodded.
So Goldilocks cooked up a BIG bowl and plonked it in front of him.
It was not too HOT.
It was not too COLD.
It was JUST right.
It made the bear almost forget about that once-upon-a-time when Goldilocks had behaved so badly.
THIS little bear would never DREAM of doing ANYTHING like that.
And although it had been good to see Goldilocks living so happily ever after with those CHARMING people, the bear decided it was time to go back home to the woods.
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