Don and Marianne's Visit

We had our first visitors to our new house!  Mark's parents arrived on Friday morning and we were all so excited to see them.  I had been looking forward to their visit for months.  It was so fun to be able to share our new life with them!

The first day they got adjusted to the new time zone and we took them out to a chain restaurant for pizza.  We had never been there, so we experimented on them.  My neighbour had recommended Pizza Express and said that they get takeaway from there every Friday night (they do Friday night pizza too!).  We tried it out and it was a bit underwhelming.  I wished that we had checked to be sure it was good before taking Mark's parents, but they were sweet about it.  To be fair, the food was delicious, but the whole restaurant experience just left a little to be desired.  I can't even really explain why.  Part of it was because I had to take Vivian to the toilet about 12 times during the course of an hour.  Now that I think of it perhaps everyone had a good time but me!

Saturday we woke them up early to take them to breakfast at our favourite little breakfast nook called Milk and then we took the overground into Victoria Station to do some touristy stuff.  We saw Westminster Abbey, Big Ben, the changing of the horse guard (which Vivi adores), walked through St. James Park (where Vivi dumped her little potty full of pee down my leg in the bathroom), past Buckhingham Palace and back to Victoria Station.  It was a whirlwind day, but the weather was decent and we had a great time.  That night we had dinner at home and relaxed and talked about lovely things like flowers, puppies and politics.  

Sunday was my first day singing in the choir so I left early and made everyone fend for themselves for breakfast.  It was a weird experience with choir, but I'll write about that separately.  We were really bummed because there was almost no one at church that we knew.  Normally we have a bunch of people that we talk to afterwards and this week there was no one.  I think Don and Marianne thought that we were lying about having friends (just kidding, of course).  

Monday they left for a couple of days in Manchester with some old friends.  While they were gone I did some laundry and tried to get the house back into guests-are-about-to-arrive shape.  Mark was also in Amsterdam at the same time so Viv and I had some time to ourselves.  We have fun together so we weren't too lonely.  

On Thursday we booked a babysitter so that we could take them out for a nice dinner.  It was really wonderful!  We went to a local place that does seasonal British cuisine.  I had no idea what to expect but was delighted with what we got.  I ordered a chicken liver parfait to start and it was the absolute best I've ever had.  I ended up not eating all of it, but wish I would have.  My main course was a courgette flower (squash blossom) battered and fried with a beet, rocket (arugula) and goat cheese salad.  I also tried everyone else's food and it was delicious.  It's a pretty nice place, so not one that we would go to every week, but we'll definitely be back for special occasions! 

Friday morning we got up and drove to the Cotswolds for an overnight visit.  This was the first overnight that we've done since we've moved to London and I discovered that I'm a bit out of practice.  I used to have almost a kit prepared... Time to get back on that.  

Rather than using ZipCar, which is how we usually drive around, we hired (rented) a car from a proper car rental place.  It was a bit cheaper, but the extra effort required to pick up the car was a bit of a bummer.  Mark and his dad got up and walked 45 minutes to pick up the car and then drove over to load everything up.  By the time we got out of here we were about an hour and half behind schedule and that always puts me on edge (I think I inherited that from my dad), but I quickly relaxed and we had a lovely drive through London and Oxford and out into the countryside.  

Vivian now loves going to the countryside.  She gets excited about looking for sheep and says she wants to find a baby sheep.  While we're driving if we every drive over a hill and have a view of some fields she yells out, "Look at the countryside."  It's super cute.  

Our time in the Cotswolds was fantastic!  We arrived, had lunch, checked in and put Vivian down for a nap and decided that we were all going to lay low for a while.  This meant reading in our room until we realized that we could go downstairs to the pub and bring our monitor... BRILLIANT!  So, Mark and I went downstairs for a pint and had a great conversation for an hour or so while Vivi snoozed and Don and Marianne chilled out.  It was a great start to the weekend!

After nap time we went for a drive to see some more little towns and countryside.  I honestly just don't get sick of the beauty of English countryside.  It is so picturesque and quaint and exactly the kind of landscape that I think most beautiful.  If we ever leave, I think I will miss a lot.  We stopped at a little pub for some snacks and Vivi's dinner and had some of the best fish and chips that I've had since we've been here.  Kind of surprising in a town that I don't remember the name of and probably could never find again.  

Viv took a long time to get down to sleep that night.  Don, Marianne and Mark were downstairs in the restaurant waiting for me for a long time, but eventually I made it and we had a delicious meal in a restaurant that was perfect!  I don't know what makes a restaurant have that perfect quality in their atmosphere but this place had it.  It was just the right level of fanciness, just the right level of casualness.  Good noise levels, good menu, good drinks, good food, good waitstaff, great company... it was such a fantastic time.  By the time we were done eating it was 10:30 and we realized that our card game would have to wait or else we would be exhausted (Hand and Foot takes a LONG time to play).  Little did I know that I would be up most of the night with Vivian.  

So, Viv is teething big-time.  I think she might be cutting three of her 2-year old molars at the same time.  Poor thing!  That means that she's sick.  She's got a runny nose and cough and this happens every time she cuts teeth.  It also means that she doesn't sleep as well, especially in a room above a pub.  I think she woke up at 2:30 a.m. and was wide awake.  I calmed her down several times and then went back to bed unsuccessfully.  Eventually I had to get up and lay on the couch with her on my belly until we both fell asleep.  I have no concept of how long this lasted, but it was enough to make me pretty tired the next day!

(I saved this as a draft for MONTHS and now I'm publishing it just the way it was when I wrote it.  I'm sure I intended to write more, but I don't remember it now... which I why I write it down!)

Long time, no blog

If anyone is still out there sticking with me even though it's been so long, Thank you!  I'm sorry that I haven't been consistent.  I've been feeling a bit under the weather physically.

Mentally and emotionally, however, I wanted to make sure to let you know that I'm doing much better.  I have come through my latest bit of gloominess about living in London and being so far away from everyone that I know and love.  The past couple of weeks I have had some really great conversations with new friends and have felt some solid connections forming with people that I've met here.  I'm optimistic about being able to live in the moment while we're here and enjoy what there is to enjoy about living in this amazing city.

I'm sure I'm going to have some gloomy times ahead, but it's nice to have some positive times too.

We're beginning the preparations for our trip back to the US.  We leave in a week and a half.  I am so excited to see and hug everyone that I've been missing so much.  I can't wait to reconnect with friends and family.  It's been a long time that we've been away.  I hope it's not weird!

One of the things that I have been wondering about is reverse culture shock.  It's always interesting to see what stands out about "home" when you return from another country.  I've been wondering what I will notice most: wide streets? huge parking lots? obesity?  I'll definitely keep you posted about my findings.

I'm ready...

When we moved here we kept an open mind because we know of so many people that have come here and loved it so much that they've elected to stay.  I knew that it would have to be amazing, but I have really considered it.  There really is SO MUCH to love about living here.

However, I've decided that I don't want to stay.  Since reaching this conclusion the only thing I can think is: If we know we're not staying then when can we leave?  It's a terrible perspective and I know that.  I need to stop thinking about this.  I need to stop focusing on it.  There's absolutely nothing that we can do right now.  We're probably here for at least 2 more years, so we need to take advantage of what we can while we can.  I just can't help but think that I'm investing in relationships and communities that I'll just leave again.  It's hard.

I had to say something.  I needed to kind of get it off my chest.  I'll now let go of it and start moving forward again.  Perhaps a visit to the Tower of London will cheer me up.  We still haven't been and I'd really love to go.

Book Club Session 2

I just got home from book club and had the most wonderful time.  We read a book by Rose Tremain called Music and Silence which I loved.  Actually I loved it but the ending was a bit disappointing.  I still recommend the book, though, so I won't go into detail about the ending.

Synopsis: Basically about the court of King Christian IV of Denmark in about 1630.  There is much more to it than that since it's historical fiction, but that's not really what this post is about.

So, in the meeting tonight I started several completely unrelated strings of conversation that I found very interesting.  One was the issue of formality.  My friend Kathy had made a comment to me once that Americans are just much more formal than the English.  I was shocked when she said it.  I could not figure out how she would come to that conclusion.  She said that perhaps she was thinking of the South.  Ok... I guess I could see that.  (This topic of conversation came up because I asked her how she was teaching Fran to address adults.  Was she teaching her to say "Miss Darcy" or just Darcy?  She said, just Darcy, we're not that formal here.)  I brought this conversation up tonight at book club and received a similar response.  People said that in America we say "sir" and "ma'am" far more often than in England.  And, in addition to that, there is this indescribable formality in America that they all pretty much agreed with but couldn't really describe.  Once again, really surprised.

As I have reflected back on our conversation I've realized a few things that I may have mentioned in previous posts, but might not have.

1) Most of the mums that I come across here, whether stay at home or full-time workers, are quite scattered.  By that I mean that many of them are disheveled and don't really apologize for it.  The TV shows that we've watched since being here portray women as mothers in an pretty unflattering way.  They are completely overrun by their kids and they have no control over anything in their lives.  Now, this characterization may be true of most moms with young children in the world, but they're not necessarily characterized that way on TV, and many real-life moms try to fake it at least some of the time around other people.  I am not a fancy dresser or a formal person, but often times I'm one of the more "put-together" moms at the library for story time.  (It's all a fake of course, as most of the time my hair hasn't been washed in days!)

2) I've realized slowly over the last few years but obviously most drastically in the past 4 months how much of my perception of England is based on fictional period dramas about England.  Downton Abbey of course comes to mind, but also Pride and Prejudice or other such stories.  Even though I've watched more recent tv shows I still view so much through a historical lens.  Perhaps my perspective of England's formality is based on those shows and movies where the upper classes are dressing up for dinner or only speaking to a member of the opposite sex in witty one-liners.  Of course it may also be based on how properly English people speak.

This topic of formality is one that I will continue asking about.  Perhaps one of these days I will come across someone who can actually give me some details.