I admire those mothers who can laugh about their daily life in the midst of their daily life being horrible. I'm not currently one of those mothers. When Vivian cries for 4 hours straight about nothing, it wears on me... even after an idyllic morning with her at nursery and time with giggling or sleeping Violet.
When I am sitting in the rocking chair trying to nurse my screaming baby on my sore nipple and she keeps biting down and pulling off it doesn't make me laugh. When this is all happening while Vivian is downstairs continuing to cry and throw a fit, I don't think it's funny.
I'm trying to enjoy the time while they're young and sometimes I do. But a lot of the time I just want to stick my head in the oven and scream. Instead I silent scream at the time and then cry later.
Cool blog, Darcy. This is really entertaining...
26 September 2013
22 September 2013
English-isms
I have just noticed lately that I have adopted a few English-isms in my daily speech. I have tried to adopt the English vocabulary for Vivian's benefit once she starts school. I don't want her to get made fun of for calling rubbish "garbage" or courgette "zucchini" or worst of all trousers "pants" (that's what they call underwear).
But aside from vocabulary there are other little things that people say that you might not notice at first, or you do, but quickly pick it up. Recently I have found myself saying:
- "You can come to mine or I can come to yours." (house)
- "Would you like to go for a coffee?" (instead of just going for coffee)
- "Do you want to walk round the school?" (instead of around)
There are also lots of little things like "pop round for a visit" and/or "nip by for a minute." People say "ta" instead of thanks and they shorten everything quite a bit. Brilliant is commonly used here as everyone knows, but quite a few people say "brill."
When typing text messages or emails, almost everyone shortens "very" to "v" and signs their name with an x, like DarcyX or Dx or Darcy x. (I'm starting to do this too, because I don't want people to think I'm rude for not blowing them a kiss at the end of what I say.)
When I was in the states I noticed that I was kissing people (on the cheek of course) that I usually just hug. (I was actually quite embarrassed afterwards, because I used to think it was SO pretentious and didn't want to be "one of those.") It's because that's what everyone does here. It's usually one kiss on the right cheek, but there are the occasional double kissers (usually people who have lived out of the country) and then it throws me all off. I used to be the worst at the kiss hello or goodbye but necessity has forced me to improve.
When I filled out the form for Vivian's nursery I made sure to specify that we speak American English at home. There is a difference!
But aside from vocabulary there are other little things that people say that you might not notice at first, or you do, but quickly pick it up. Recently I have found myself saying:
- "You can come to mine or I can come to yours." (house)
- "Would you like to go for a coffee?" (instead of just going for coffee)
- "Do you want to walk round the school?" (instead of around)
There are also lots of little things like "pop round for a visit" and/or "nip by for a minute." People say "ta" instead of thanks and they shorten everything quite a bit. Brilliant is commonly used here as everyone knows, but quite a few people say "brill."
When typing text messages or emails, almost everyone shortens "very" to "v" and signs their name with an x, like DarcyX or Dx or Darcy x. (I'm starting to do this too, because I don't want people to think I'm rude for not blowing them a kiss at the end of what I say.)
When I was in the states I noticed that I was kissing people (on the cheek of course) that I usually just hug. (I was actually quite embarrassed afterwards, because I used to think it was SO pretentious and didn't want to be "one of those.") It's because that's what everyone does here. It's usually one kiss on the right cheek, but there are the occasional double kissers (usually people who have lived out of the country) and then it throws me all off. I used to be the worst at the kiss hello or goodbye but necessity has forced me to improve.
When I filled out the form for Vivian's nursery I made sure to specify that we speak American English at home. There is a difference!
19 September 2013
Emergency Contact
Vivian started nursery today. It was a bit anti-climatic for me because they ask that the parents stay with the child on-site until the child is fully adjusted. So, there was no teary goodbye... no goodbye at all. We did take a BOATLOAD of photos though, so that's good.
She had a great time playing with this huge water table that they have. When we first arrived there were toy fish in the water. Then we went upstairs for a new parents meeting and when we came back down the water was full of anatomically correct baby dolls of both genders. Interesting. I'm not sure what message they're sending about swimming, but I'm sure I'll be answering questions about it.
As I was filling out paperwork it asked me to list two emergency contacts in case Mark or I become unavailable and Vivian needs to be picked up. I was stumped. I have no idea who to put down. It's weird that it hit me so hard.
Well, it's 10:15 p.m. and I just finished cleaning the kitchen, folding the laundry and starting the last load in the dryer (it's SOOO nice to have a dryer). I'm WIPED OUT! This two kid thing is pretty exhausting. Today Viv took a nap and I was sure that I would have about 30 minutes in nap overlap to do something really efficiently or maybe sit down for a minute, but nope! Violet woke up as Vivian was finishing up lunch... bummer! No rest for me today. Mark is out at a work dinner so I've been completely on my own for dinner, bath and bed tonight. Not my favorite, but we got through it.
I'm just dawdling now. I need to sleep while I can. Goodnight.
She had a great time playing with this huge water table that they have. When we first arrived there were toy fish in the water. Then we went upstairs for a new parents meeting and when we came back down the water was full of anatomically correct baby dolls of both genders. Interesting. I'm not sure what message they're sending about swimming, but I'm sure I'll be answering questions about it.
As I was filling out paperwork it asked me to list two emergency contacts in case Mark or I become unavailable and Vivian needs to be picked up. I was stumped. I have no idea who to put down. It's weird that it hit me so hard.
Well, it's 10:15 p.m. and I just finished cleaning the kitchen, folding the laundry and starting the last load in the dryer (it's SOOO nice to have a dryer). I'm WIPED OUT! This two kid thing is pretty exhausting. Today Viv took a nap and I was sure that I would have about 30 minutes in nap overlap to do something really efficiently or maybe sit down for a minute, but nope! Violet woke up as Vivian was finishing up lunch... bummer! No rest for me today. Mark is out at a work dinner so I've been completely on my own for dinner, bath and bed tonight. Not my favorite, but we got through it.
I'm just dawdling now. I need to sleep while I can. Goodnight.
17 September 2013
Second Day of Real Life
So, you know what I said last time about life here being easier because we don't have a car? Yeah, go ahead and forget that completely.
Today was our second day of 'real life' after returning from our trip back to America. We woke up at a normal time and got ready for the day as if she was going to nursery. I called it our practice run. We would have been late, but now I know how much time things will actually take.
The morning was nice. We walked by her nursery, went to the post office and then stopped off at Starbucks because I had to feed Violet and it's the only place around that has enough seating that I might actually find a place to sit. I almost never go to Starbucks on principal. Why go to Starbucks when I live in London and could go anywhere else? Well, while I was there (maybe 30 minutes total) I ran into 5 different people that I know. Some of them knew each other, but not all of them. It was crazy. Maybe if I'm feeling lonely and like I don't have friends, I'll just go to Starbucks. :)
Later that day...
I was totally absorbed in organizing the new clothes that I bought for Vivian in my two-day shopping spree and didn't realize that the time was flying by and it was now 30 minutes until ballet started. It was her first day in 'primary' class which means that I wasn't in the room with her. I was worried that it might be upsetting so I wanted to get there early. Ballet is a full mile away from our house and even if I walk by myself at top speed it would still take me 10-12 minutes (considering all of the street crossings etc). We got out of the house at 3:20, made it there by 3:38 and rushed into the changing room only to realize that I had completely forgotten her ballet kit (uniform). I had to ask the teacher to get one for Vivian to borrow which made class start late.
Vivian did great. She didn't cry. Once she saw me looking at her through the window and said, "Hold me, Mama," but that was it. She just pranced around following directions like a champ, from what I saw. Half the time I was sitting on the sofa trying to get Violet to nurse. (She has gotten very picky and will now only really eat while laying down on the bed with me. It's a problem... I think I need to call a specialist.) At one point I tried to talk to someone while she was latched on only to discover a second later that she had pulled off and was completely drenched by the firehose of milk streaming toward her.
After ballet we got all changed and decided that walking a tiny bit farther down the high road toward Tooting was better to do in the late afternoon rain than making a separate trip another time. I got it in my head this morning that I want to knit pink, red, black and white matching scarves for the girls. I haven't knit in at least 2 years and honestly don't know if I will remember how to knit and purl. But, I needed yarn (they call it wool here. If it's cotton, they call it cotton wool. That's what they also call baby wipes...weird) and I needed it at 5 p.m. in the rain, so we walked to the craft store.
As we were leaving the craft store it sunk in that this wasn't a good idea. By the time we got home (and Vivi had walked through all of the puddles in her regular shoes) we were soaked and it was almost 5:30. I rushed to get dinner ready and managed to spill Balsamic vinaigrette on my new white shirt. I took that off to clean it and then spilled pasta sauce on my white tank top and new jeans. Seriously? Vivian managed to drop a bowl of dressing which bounced on the footrest of her chair and splashed all over the dining room. I'll probably be cleaning up drips of it for weeks!
*****
I got distracted writing that post and don't know what I was going to conclude with. It's now Thursday and I had an epiphany tonight. These days life is nonstop. Vivian and Violet keep me on my toes, but routine should help free up some time to actually make a nice dinner or get more than one room of the house clean at a time (right???? Someone please tell me I'm right!). In the meantime, I'm really going to try to stop dwelling on how tired I am and how much work this is, and try to enjoy the little bugs. Today I had a tea party with Vivian and she was so excited! She made me a pretend cake and cut it into pieces with a spoon. She served me pretend cherry tea (with real toy cherries in the cup) and dumped an entire bowl of pretend sugar in my tea. When I woke her up from her nap this afternoon (if I don't wake her up she stays up until 10 or later at night) she just wanted to cuddle. Tonight when I put Violet down, I let her fall asleep in my arms and kissed her fluffy little cheeks a few (ok, about a hundred) times before I laid her down. I've decided that maybe the things that are stressing me out and making me SO incredibly grumpy (you can ask Mark... he will probably be nice about it, but I've been GRUMP-Y the last couple of days) maybe aren't that important.
So... if you come to my house you will see laundry piled up on the kitchen table and counter and stove top, clothes hanging from the drying rack, Violet's activity mat in the middle of the kitchen floor, mail piled up, dirt on the carpet, toys still out in the living room and playroom and water still in the bathtub from Violet's bath 3 hours ago. But, I'm going to bed. If I don't get sleep I will continue being a grump, which makes me a verifiably bad mother.
Today was our second day of 'real life' after returning from our trip back to America. We woke up at a normal time and got ready for the day as if she was going to nursery. I called it our practice run. We would have been late, but now I know how much time things will actually take.
The morning was nice. We walked by her nursery, went to the post office and then stopped off at Starbucks because I had to feed Violet and it's the only place around that has enough seating that I might actually find a place to sit. I almost never go to Starbucks on principal. Why go to Starbucks when I live in London and could go anywhere else? Well, while I was there (maybe 30 minutes total) I ran into 5 different people that I know. Some of them knew each other, but not all of them. It was crazy. Maybe if I'm feeling lonely and like I don't have friends, I'll just go to Starbucks. :)
Later that day...
I was totally absorbed in organizing the new clothes that I bought for Vivian in my two-day shopping spree and didn't realize that the time was flying by and it was now 30 minutes until ballet started. It was her first day in 'primary' class which means that I wasn't in the room with her. I was worried that it might be upsetting so I wanted to get there early. Ballet is a full mile away from our house and even if I walk by myself at top speed it would still take me 10-12 minutes (considering all of the street crossings etc). We got out of the house at 3:20, made it there by 3:38 and rushed into the changing room only to realize that I had completely forgotten her ballet kit (uniform). I had to ask the teacher to get one for Vivian to borrow which made class start late.
Vivian did great. She didn't cry. Once she saw me looking at her through the window and said, "Hold me, Mama," but that was it. She just pranced around following directions like a champ, from what I saw. Half the time I was sitting on the sofa trying to get Violet to nurse. (She has gotten very picky and will now only really eat while laying down on the bed with me. It's a problem... I think I need to call a specialist.) At one point I tried to talk to someone while she was latched on only to discover a second later that she had pulled off and was completely drenched by the firehose of milk streaming toward her.
After ballet we got all changed and decided that walking a tiny bit farther down the high road toward Tooting was better to do in the late afternoon rain than making a separate trip another time. I got it in my head this morning that I want to knit pink, red, black and white matching scarves for the girls. I haven't knit in at least 2 years and honestly don't know if I will remember how to knit and purl. But, I needed yarn (they call it wool here. If it's cotton, they call it cotton wool. That's what they also call baby wipes...weird) and I needed it at 5 p.m. in the rain, so we walked to the craft store.
As we were leaving the craft store it sunk in that this wasn't a good idea. By the time we got home (and Vivi had walked through all of the puddles in her regular shoes) we were soaked and it was almost 5:30. I rushed to get dinner ready and managed to spill Balsamic vinaigrette on my new white shirt. I took that off to clean it and then spilled pasta sauce on my white tank top and new jeans. Seriously? Vivian managed to drop a bowl of dressing which bounced on the footrest of her chair and splashed all over the dining room. I'll probably be cleaning up drips of it for weeks!
*****
I got distracted writing that post and don't know what I was going to conclude with. It's now Thursday and I had an epiphany tonight. These days life is nonstop. Vivian and Violet keep me on my toes, but routine should help free up some time to actually make a nice dinner or get more than one room of the house clean at a time (right???? Someone please tell me I'm right!). In the meantime, I'm really going to try to stop dwelling on how tired I am and how much work this is, and try to enjoy the little bugs. Today I had a tea party with Vivian and she was so excited! She made me a pretend cake and cut it into pieces with a spoon. She served me pretend cherry tea (with real toy cherries in the cup) and dumped an entire bowl of pretend sugar in my tea. When I woke her up from her nap this afternoon (if I don't wake her up she stays up until 10 or later at night) she just wanted to cuddle. Tonight when I put Violet down, I let her fall asleep in my arms and kissed her fluffy little cheeks a few (ok, about a hundred) times before I laid her down. I've decided that maybe the things that are stressing me out and making me SO incredibly grumpy (you can ask Mark... he will probably be nice about it, but I've been GRUMP-Y the last couple of days) maybe aren't that important.
So... if you come to my house you will see laundry piled up on the kitchen table and counter and stove top, clothes hanging from the drying rack, Violet's activity mat in the middle of the kitchen floor, mail piled up, dirt on the carpet, toys still out in the living room and playroom and water still in the bathtub from Violet's bath 3 hours ago. But, I'm going to bed. If I don't get sleep I will continue being a grump, which makes me a verifiably bad mother.
15 September 2013
Back in London
We returned home on Friday afternoon to a completely overgrown garden. To be fair the garden was slightly overgrown when we left, but now it looks like the vines have taken over. The climbing rose bush that covers the east wall of the garden has shoots about an inch in diameter that are arching more than halfway over the width of the garden. It's crazy out there. As soon as it stops raining for more than 5 minutes I'll put on my protective clothing and go brave the thorny vines.
We were also apparently welcomed home by either a tribe of mice or one very busy mouse. A bunch of the dry goods in our pantry were nibbled through. In addition to obvious mouse activity we found the tiny little crawling wormy bugs that hatch into moths. If there is one thing that my mother has taught me, it's that you don't mess around when it comes to getting moths. Therefore... we threw away ALL of our dry goods. It was so sad. Flour, sugar, nuts and seeds, oats, rice. I was disappointed but it is nice to get the cupboards cleaned out and scrubbed down (does that make me neurotic?).
So, after inspecting, tossing, scrubbing, moving and replacing all of the food in our kitchen, we are now getting back to the task at hand - unpacking, laundry, and of course, reminiscing about the wonderful time that we had with family and friends in the States.
We are so fortunate to be surrounded by wonderful families as well as irreplaceable friends. Flying home on Thursday night was hard for me. I cried on the plane during takeoff while I nursed Violet. I had to be sneaky about it because it was 9 p.m. and Vivian was tired... plus, she's really sensitive to begin with. I was just so sad to be leaving a place that is so comfortable for me and people that are so dear to me.
The things that stuck out in my mind as we travelled around the US were a bit less drastic than they were the first time around. Mostly things felt comfortable to me. I felt like I was home and was pretty sure I would be just fine never coming back to London.
It did strike me a bit that there are so many incredibly fat people in America. I mean HUGE. We were in Wisconsin at the Burnett County Dairy getting ice cream cones and there was a family there that was enormous. Every member of the family was individually huge and they were all eating double and triple scoops. It was very American. You just don't see people that big over here. England is probably one of the fatter European countries and you still never see people like that.
I also was struck by how many people drive just down the road when they could just walk. Having to get a baby in and out of her carseat and then in and out of the device with which to carry her when she's not in the car is quite work intensive. It made me actually appreciate that about where I live now. I don't have a car so there are a few things that are more difficult (Costco runs, grocery shopping, shopping for clothes, getting somewhere quickly... okay, a lot of things). What is easier now, though is toting a baby around. We leave the house with the buggy, the Ergo or Baby Bjorn, the diaper bag and the girls. We don't have to re-configure anything once we get to the grocery store or the library. We just walk in the same way that we left our house. That is nice at this stage of my life. If Violet slept better in a carseat maybe I would feel differently.
I did a lot of shopping while I was in California and Chicago. I think that some people might think I'm a little crazy because I was so nutso about shopping, but in my defense, I have been pregnant for a while and it's always nice to buy clothes once you're not huge anymore. Also, London is quite expensive and since I don't have a car it is difficult to get anywhere during a reasonable period of time without the girls. I could have done it when it was just Vivian, but once again, I was pregnant. Plus, I like the stores that I like with the sizes that fit me and the styles that agree with me. Therefore, I went to Eddie Bauer, Von Maur, TJ Maxx, Target, Dillards and Old Navy. I returned home with a pretty decent haul and am feeling quite stylish already! At church I got compliments on my new floral print button down shirt... Yay! Now I just need to find the perfect boots and I'll be set for all of winter.
Speaking of church, we went back today. We were almost 20 minutes late, but better late than never, right? It was really nice because people were so excited to see us. It's nice to be part of a community like this. I have noticed that we have our own little cliques at church... we don't talk to every single person, but we do talk to quite a few. Maybe one of my goals can be expanding my circle. I need to continue practicing being the person I want to be.
When we were in Stockton, we went to the church that I grew up attending. I was pretty optimistic about how I would find it since we have been going to church so regularly here. I thought that some of the skepticism and doubt that I had about my home church prior to moving to England would have abated now that we've been attending C of E regularly. I was wrong. I don't want to go into too much detail, but I was very disappointed in my experience. I felt that I was not welcome because of my children and I felt that any viewpoint other than the one stated from the pulpit was not only unwelcome but condemned. As a result I began questioning whether all of the nice people that I grew up admiring and loving were actually what they seemed to be. I guess I shouldn't judge people that way. My parents were there too, and I don't think they fit the mold that I have created based on that experience.
Now that we're back in London I have to admit that it's nice. This is our home now. We have a nice house, a great neighbourhood, a wonderful church community and a good routine. Vivian starts school at the local nursery (pre-school) on Thursday. Once that happens we will be getting into a pretty solid and unchanging groove for a while. That will be nice. Our weekends and half-term breaks we can spend fighting the English crowds at desirable European destinations. Now that Vivi is in school we are going to be tied down for the next 20 years (GULP). That makes me a bit nervous, but people do it all the time, right? That is my comfort for everything... child rearing included, which is a whole 'nuther' story!
We were also apparently welcomed home by either a tribe of mice or one very busy mouse. A bunch of the dry goods in our pantry were nibbled through. In addition to obvious mouse activity we found the tiny little crawling wormy bugs that hatch into moths. If there is one thing that my mother has taught me, it's that you don't mess around when it comes to getting moths. Therefore... we threw away ALL of our dry goods. It was so sad. Flour, sugar, nuts and seeds, oats, rice. I was disappointed but it is nice to get the cupboards cleaned out and scrubbed down (does that make me neurotic?).
So, after inspecting, tossing, scrubbing, moving and replacing all of the food in our kitchen, we are now getting back to the task at hand - unpacking, laundry, and of course, reminiscing about the wonderful time that we had with family and friends in the States.
We are so fortunate to be surrounded by wonderful families as well as irreplaceable friends. Flying home on Thursday night was hard for me. I cried on the plane during takeoff while I nursed Violet. I had to be sneaky about it because it was 9 p.m. and Vivian was tired... plus, she's really sensitive to begin with. I was just so sad to be leaving a place that is so comfortable for me and people that are so dear to me.
The things that stuck out in my mind as we travelled around the US were a bit less drastic than they were the first time around. Mostly things felt comfortable to me. I felt like I was home and was pretty sure I would be just fine never coming back to London.
It did strike me a bit that there are so many incredibly fat people in America. I mean HUGE. We were in Wisconsin at the Burnett County Dairy getting ice cream cones and there was a family there that was enormous. Every member of the family was individually huge and they were all eating double and triple scoops. It was very American. You just don't see people that big over here. England is probably one of the fatter European countries and you still never see people like that.
I also was struck by how many people drive just down the road when they could just walk. Having to get a baby in and out of her carseat and then in and out of the device with which to carry her when she's not in the car is quite work intensive. It made me actually appreciate that about where I live now. I don't have a car so there are a few things that are more difficult (Costco runs, grocery shopping, shopping for clothes, getting somewhere quickly... okay, a lot of things). What is easier now, though is toting a baby around. We leave the house with the buggy, the Ergo or Baby Bjorn, the diaper bag and the girls. We don't have to re-configure anything once we get to the grocery store or the library. We just walk in the same way that we left our house. That is nice at this stage of my life. If Violet slept better in a carseat maybe I would feel differently.
I did a lot of shopping while I was in California and Chicago. I think that some people might think I'm a little crazy because I was so nutso about shopping, but in my defense, I have been pregnant for a while and it's always nice to buy clothes once you're not huge anymore. Also, London is quite expensive and since I don't have a car it is difficult to get anywhere during a reasonable period of time without the girls. I could have done it when it was just Vivian, but once again, I was pregnant. Plus, I like the stores that I like with the sizes that fit me and the styles that agree with me. Therefore, I went to Eddie Bauer, Von Maur, TJ Maxx, Target, Dillards and Old Navy. I returned home with a pretty decent haul and am feeling quite stylish already! At church I got compliments on my new floral print button down shirt... Yay! Now I just need to find the perfect boots and I'll be set for all of winter.
Speaking of church, we went back today. We were almost 20 minutes late, but better late than never, right? It was really nice because people were so excited to see us. It's nice to be part of a community like this. I have noticed that we have our own little cliques at church... we don't talk to every single person, but we do talk to quite a few. Maybe one of my goals can be expanding my circle. I need to continue practicing being the person I want to be.
When we were in Stockton, we went to the church that I grew up attending. I was pretty optimistic about how I would find it since we have been going to church so regularly here. I thought that some of the skepticism and doubt that I had about my home church prior to moving to England would have abated now that we've been attending C of E regularly. I was wrong. I don't want to go into too much detail, but I was very disappointed in my experience. I felt that I was not welcome because of my children and I felt that any viewpoint other than the one stated from the pulpit was not only unwelcome but condemned. As a result I began questioning whether all of the nice people that I grew up admiring and loving were actually what they seemed to be. I guess I shouldn't judge people that way. My parents were there too, and I don't think they fit the mold that I have created based on that experience.
Now that we're back in London I have to admit that it's nice. This is our home now. We have a nice house, a great neighbourhood, a wonderful church community and a good routine. Vivian starts school at the local nursery (pre-school) on Thursday. Once that happens we will be getting into a pretty solid and unchanging groove for a while. That will be nice. Our weekends and half-term breaks we can spend fighting the English crowds at desirable European destinations. Now that Vivi is in school we are going to be tied down for the next 20 years (GULP). That makes me a bit nervous, but people do it all the time, right? That is my comfort for everything... child rearing included, which is a whole 'nuther' story!
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